Teach Me How To Love
by LoveBria
Summary: Leah is tired of all the pain in her life so she, well, leaves. I mean even she has her limits right? But before we learn to love we have to be taught. And sometimes it comes in a variety of forms. This is how she learned.
1. Letting Go

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any Twilight character or song that may or may not be used

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__Letting Go_

_Show me the ways to surrender my heart…_

I had enough.

I just couldn't do it anymore, take the physical and emotional pain I was going through.

Every day. Non-stop.

So I ran, as fast as my legs could take me.

I went in secret under the cloak of night.

No one knew what I was up to, not even my brothers who knew almost everything about me.

I chose to go in human form just in case a member of the pack happened to phase and figure out what I was up to.

I had to do this for myself and I needed not their pity.

Especially Sam's but what else was I to do?

My love was lost and he was with someone who was not me.

The tears welled up into my eyes and brimmed over my eyelashes.

My long hair followed behind me which I allowed to grow out from a recent cut, when I cut my hair my fur looked more sleek but now I could care less about my appearance.

It seemed a long time ago that the love of my life had complimented me on how much he liked my long hair.

Now it did not matter.

My footsteps were silent against the forest floor as silent as any other creature of the night.

A branch snapped and the trees crackled I heard an animal howl not a mythical animal just a regular one, but I could still understand the pain.

Ah, the pain was unbearable.

I was no longer myself; the strong person I showed everyone it was just a façade.

I was no longer the loveable person everyone remembered I was cold, heartless.

No one could stand to be around me.

All of my dark humor and ever present sarcasm was too much to bear.

So people began to distance themselves away from me.

I hated myself for hurting the people closest to me especially the pack, but that was the only way I knew how to cope.

Sam was always there though never leaving always giving me my space when it was necessary he understood better than anyone how strange and horrible love could be sometimes.

Today was the last straw though I could no longer do this I was giving up.

I saw them together and I saw the love radiating out of his eyes when he looked at _her_ the complete adoration it was just too much.

Besides everything that happened I still wanted what was best for _her_ and I would always want what would make _her _happy even if it was having him.

We were best friends once upon a time before the awkwardness, pain and new feelings and deep inside underneath the mask I wore I would always love _her _more than anything.

That's why I was leaving now it was time I grew up and became the bigger person time for a change.

I needed this, my pack needed this.

All of the tension and anger was too much and putting a toll on all of us.

Now that the newborn bloodsuckers were out of the way the pack could afford to do without me for a while.

I stopped, my breathing was heavy I had tried to put a great distance between myself and La push as fast as possible.

I did not know how long I had been running I just hoped by sunrise I would be far enough away that they wouldn't miss me.

I didn't want to worry them I really did love my brothers but I loved me more, at least right now I did.

My heart was pulsing hard against my chest I felt my blood rushing through my veins.

I felt my body heat which was always on the hot side thrashing against my skin.

I'm sure if a human was standing close enough their hair would have singed.

That thought made me smile a little.

I fell to my knees not even noticing the dirt and the leaves smashed against my jeans.

I screamed to the sky but the stars only twinkled beautifully back as if in response.

Even though the world was an ugly place the sky was always fascinating to me it calmed me enough to notice I had stopped next to a stream or river.

The water looked promising enough to take away my pain as long as I stayed under it forever, maybe I would.

I cried my heart out for the fish to witness if only they could hear.

The river seemed to call to me like my mother's arms when I was a child, comforting me whenever I was at my lowest.

I cried some more remembering her, my father, and all of the pain in my life.

_I was told the true definition of a man is to never cry…._

I took one last look at the beautiful night sky.

The stars smiled down at me, the cold wind kissed my neck and blew my hair one last time.

Well I was not a man so I let loose a final cry letting go of the anger, hate, frustration, depression, bitterness and the remorse.

It rocked my core to the center making my body shake and convulse and I Leah Clearwater embraced the icy depths of the river.

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Sup? I had a really cool time writing this chapter and getting inside of Leah's head. I think she's a pretty cool chick. So I don't know if I will ever update because I never get **reviews**, I mean **ever **so yeah. It's obvious she didn't completely kill herself or else there wouldn't be another chapter...maybe. It would be really nice if someone out there review, that's all I'm saying...Love, Bria


	2. First Impression

**Disclaimer: Do not own any characters, wait actually I DO own one. You'll see**

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__First Impression_

I opened my eyes to a blaring light and immediately thought of heaven, but no that couldn't be right on the account of how badly I treated everyone around me and besides I was ravenous with hunger.

I mean, in whatever afterlife we had to go to I'm sure I wouldn't be hungry unless this was hell and I would be eternally starved for being such a bitter harpy.

I guess that would be torture since I could eat more than a crowd of grown men.

I heard a clank with my sharp hearing coming from the left of me and I immediately smelled the food I must have missed while I was deciding where I would spend all eternity.

I heard sizzling and smelled bacon.

My hand immediately went to my hair; it was tangled from not being blown dry.

I would rather be starved for eternity than have to deal with the treacherous tangles my hair was now in.

With a sigh I got off the couch I had been laying on and a thick quilt that I hadn't realized was on me dropped to the floor.

My clothes were slightly damped but it didn't bother me since I was an ever present space-heater a similarity I heard Jake joke to Embry and Quil about.

The room I was in was small and organized. I looked around and noticed a television sitting on a stand at the back wall.

A small wooden table was in the center with books stacked on the top and photo albums at the bottom.

There were a lot of books I noticed immediately ranging from all different types and genres.

The rug I was standing on was really pretty and finely stitched the room had no certain look or color yet it all went together somehow.

The enchanting pictures that hung on the wall captured my attention the most, I was studying the pictures so intently that I did not hear the approach of a person.

"I see you're awake" It was a man's voice.

The deep and rich timber warmed my heart with those four simple words.

Something about that voice was so familiar and comforting I was afraid to turn around and be disappointed.

I immediately became embarrassed that this man had seen me at my most vulnerable state and saved me from my reckless actions.

_Maybe I should just leave_

I could make it to the door before him and even by some strange stroke of luck that he was to catch me I could easily hurt him enough to discourage further action on his part.

But before the plan was fully accumulated I took it back I knew I wouldn't hurt him, I was done hurting people for no reason.

As if sensing my inner battle I heard him take a step in my direction for I still had not turned around.

If I left I would miss out on a meal and it would be hard getting food in my current state.

I couldn't phase in case the guys were in wolf form and pick up where I was at I also couldn't waltzed into a food place since I left with nothing but the clothes on my back.

_Gosh how stupid could I get?_

So maybe I would stay to eat I heard and felt my stomach growl in agreement and my cheeks burned even more, I'm sure he heard that too.

"I'll fix you something to eat just come in the kitchen I'm sure your hungry", He made no comment about my stomach.

I heard him leave and sighed with relief.

_What was I going to do now? _

I couldn't go back home, I had no money to my name, I was a wreck, I was-

"The food is ready!" his voice interrupted my mental berating.

I guess for now I would just eat, at least that was something I was good at.

I turned to walk towards the kitchen still looking at the ground I was so pathetic.

The cooking noises became louder as I entered the kitchen.

"Here's your plate" I guess I would have to look up now no use postponing the inevitable.

I tilted my head up slightly and took the plate I went on to meet his gaze and what I saw shocked the hell out of me.

His eyes pulsed and I saw stars shoot across them; they twinkled and called out for me pulling me so close I was afraid I would drown.

All the other noises from the kitchen faded into the background.

I heard his breathing and felt his cool breath against my face his scent was so alluring to me when he inhaled I exhaled he stopped all at once and I felt myself choke he continued his breathing and my lungs expanded, I needed him to breathe!

His lips were slightly parted maybe he would scream because I'm sure my reaction was not one he expected, hell I did not expect it.

Before I could stop myself I felt my finger tips glide over his lips they were so soft like rose petals, he was taller than me and had a muscular physique.

Something I could not stop called me to him and I believed even God wouldn't be able to stop that gravitational pull.

My hand went to his chest which felt as if it was calling me, whispering my name I felt his heart beat I could hear it too. It was the most beautiful sound in the world to me.

His hair was dark and curly it looked as soft as silk.

I felt him calling for me yet his lips said no such thing everything he felt I felt it too right now he was feeling nervous so I dropped my hand.

I did not want him uncomfortable in anyway even if I was the reason.

"Are you okay?" His voice made my heart yearn all I wanted was for him to say something anything at all.

I shook my head no, I wasn't ok.

"Maybe you should sit down?" It came out as a question yet he tugged my arm pulling me towards a table.

His touch sent lightning through me; he felt it too and dropped my arm with a look of confusion.

I became sad that we were no longer touching as we walked he took the plate out of my hand and set it down.

"Is there anything I can get for you?" He asked sincerely, I felt that too.

"No" I said simply my voice came out in a low hoarse croak, although I would give him the world if he wanted me too.

"Well maybe you should eat" He made a gesture towards my plate.

My hunger left me when I laid eyes on him food no longer held my interest.

"Do you mind telling me your name since you don't want to eat?" If he wanted me to stand on my hand singing the alphabet I would do it.

_A name? Psh, that was nothing_

I cleared my throat "My name is Leah, Leah Clearwater and you?" I asked calmly although I was mentally shaking I wanted no I needed to know everything about him.

He smiled and it just about blinded me with its radiant loveliness my heart soared I was so happy that he smiled I could barely contain myself.

_What the hell was wrong with me?_

"Nice to meet you Leah I'm Jeremy, Jeremy Rollieo".

Now that I knew his name the hunger had returned and I looked down at my plate, the food smelled good so I took a tentative bite aware of his eyes on me.

He must have noticed that as well because he cleared his throat and began to speak.

"Well, I ate while you were still asleep I didn't want to wake you, you looked peaceful." He blushed slightly at this, but continued in his sure voice.

"I don't want to just sit here and stare at you eat. That would be awkward, so when you're done come in the room you just left. I'm not rushing you or anything so take your time." He stared at me expecting an answer I just nodded still overcome.

My heart was beating heavily against my chest.

I watched him get up and walk away, still staring at me warily as if I might bolt at any second.

Something inside of me that had laid doormat my entire life up until this point felt him inside the other room; he was now sitting on the couch I had just left.

I took a deep breath thinking about everything that just happened.

If imprinting felt this way I could see why poor Quil stalked Claire all the time and why Jared was so obsessed with Kim.

Bringing up those members of the pack made me think about…Sam.

I held myself together expecting the same stab of betrayal I normally felt and the aching in my chest that longed for someone who didn't want me anymore.

The bracing was useless for as soon as I thought of Sam I felt no emotional stress at all.

I frowned at this, Yeah somewhere inside of me I still cared for him and I remembered all the times we had together, but something was missing.

It was if his betrayal happened another lifetime ago and my heart had more than enough time to fully get over it.

I realized I had been holding my breath so when I inhaled I was not expecting the strong scent of Jeremy, I glanced over my shoulder to see what he was doing and he was looking right back at me with confusion.

I turned back to my plate to continue eating and thinking.

Even though I had only met Jeremy today it felt as if I knew him my whole life and he was the reason my heart no longer felt riddled with holes.

It was as if his mere presence filled the missing spaces.

I looked at my plate wondering what to do with it now that I was done, he must have been watching because he told me to just leave it there.

I stood from the chair already feeling better and went to sit with him on the couch.

His body heat pressed against me and I felt it all over my body.

I glanced up at him to see his reaction to my temperature since we were slightly touching, but he seemed not to be bothered at all.

"So," he began hesitantly like he did before. "Do you mind telling me exactly what happened to you?"

He quirked his dark eyebrow up curiously making his handsome face even more adorable.

My body reacted even before my mind did as if it knew what I was about to attempt to do.

Imprintee or not I could tell by the innocence in his eyes that he did not need to be included in my monstrous world.

I mean what man would want me? The girly wolf that for all I knew couldn't have kids?

I felt all my walls come up again that just today I was sure I would never use on anybody.

Did that not prove how much I truly cared for him and wanted what was best?

It hurt me to do so, but wasn't it my place to protect him? Even(as I said before) if I was the one who he needed protecting from?

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**Hello, did you like the chapter? Please review and tell what you think any suggestions or where this might go. It would mean a lot to me, really. I hope you're not too disappointed I like this chapter and it sets the tone for things to come. **


	3. Cue in Shocked Expression

**Disclaimer:** Do not own Leah, I DO own Jeremy which brings a little satisfaction. Okay...I tried to space it out, hope I did it right and I'm sorry for the reading inconvenience please forgive me. Thanks to everyone who reviewed please continue to because that makes me love, love, love you lots. Okay on to the story...

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_Cue in Shocked Expression_

"So," he began hesitantly like he did before. "Do you mind telling me exactly what happened to you?"

Time made my body react to the question Jeremy innocently asked.

I felt myself grow tense and I immediately shifted away from the contact our body was making. The sudden lost of his warmth made me tingle.

His stormy grey eyes questioned my sanity, he studied my face and with a sigh ran his fingers through his curly hair.

_Should I tell him? _The thought was turning over in my mind repeatedly.

I pushed my shoulders back already knowing the answer to this question. I couldn't tell him, he could go on living in the safe world he knew.

I inhaled a deep breath and began to speak when he cut me off.

"It's okay Leah…I can see it bothers you so you really don't have to tell me unless you want to."

He was still studying my face his intense eyes never losing their focus. I let go of the breath I was unknowingly holding.

He smiled at me, making my body immediately relax again.

If anyone else stared at me the way Jeremy was now doing the old me would have glared back or said something spiteful.

Instead, his eyes made me feel at ease with the odd sense that I would drown if I looked at them for too long.

He broke our eye contact and looked down at the ground thoughtfully.

_So now what would I do?_ I asked myself. If I refused to tell Jeremy anything about my life how could I expect him to allow me to stay? And why did I expect to stay anyway?

He did not know me for all he knew I was some weird girl intent on drowning herself. _Where would I go now? _

"So what do we do now?" Jeremy mused quietly to himself. Voicing the same question I had asked myself.

"I really appreciate everything you have done for me Jeremy, I will no longer burden you. It's okay…I can get by on my own." The lie slipped easily out of my mouth, my lips had no trouble saying it but as soon as my body processed this information the pain began.

I stood from the couch to go when he jumped up in surprise.

Unconsciously his hand shot out to me, his face was back to being confused.

"No Leah, You will not be a burden at all! I know you don't know me well, but I'm a decent kind of guy. You can stay for as long as you need to no questions asked." He spoke so sincerely I knew he was telling the truth.

"Jeremy…you don't know me at all. What if I'm some killer? Maybe that's why you found me out there alone, running away." I half-joked to him.

Silently I Hoped he did not take my question seriously, it would be awfully rude if my own imprint kicked me out.

He shook his head as though he had already thought about this and did not care.

"I…don't know exactly WHY I believe you're not capable of murder I just KNOW you're not bad. Prove me wrong 'cause I AM betting a lot on this."

When he said that last part he looked again deeply into my face and his eyes, well, they PULSED. The depth of his emotions shook me.

He did not believe me capable of harming anyone, but when it came to him I'm sure I was capable of anything. But something he said stood out more than the rest.

"What do you mean you're betting a lot on this?"

As soon as the question was asked he gazed over my shoulder earnestly.

I looked behind me as well expecting to see the answer to all the world's problems with how longingly he was looking behind me.

"You'll find out soon, she should be getting up by now. She loves to sleep."

He shook his head condescendingly but you could hear the love dripping from every word.

Immediately my heart fled to the bottom of my stomach. _Did…he have a wife?_

I rapidly went through our whole encounter and tried to remember it, seeing if there were tell-tell signs of someone else.

Yeah, he HAD been kind to me, but he also did not make an outward pass on me. I was the one feeling those types of feelings for him, not the other way around.

What **were **you suppose to do if the person you imprinted on was with someone else?

The only situation that came to mind was with Sam.

I ran a hand through my hair and regretted it, gosh it was a mess. My hand paused at the seriousness of the situation.

I knew better than anyone how it felt to have your heart broken and I knew I couldn't let another person feel that same kind of hurt. Just because I imprinted on Jeremy did not mean I forgot the echo of pain I always felt until today.

Whoever the lucky girl was to have Jeremy I wouldn't take him away from her even if it killed me. Why should outsiders hurt because of our creepy imprinting? Emily paid with her face for being in on our world and I had paid with my heart.

I looked at Jeremy his grey eyes were watching me his face was closed off and that took me by surprise.

Had I been voicing my thoughts again?

So caught up in Jeremy's expression I did not at first hear the noise coming from behind me. It was a little strumming, maybe something was...excited?

His face changed again and his eyes shone with the love he felt. Ah, so _she_ was the noise. Maybe the upbeat of her heart was not from excitement, but rather anger at my presence in her home.

I turned around the words already on my lips to explain that I was leaving when I met empty air in the space of where eyes should have been.

Shocked I looked down to see the same pair of stormy grey eyes gazing curiously up at me framed by long eyelashes. Small arms clutched a stuffed animal.

I frowned at this…_Okay…so maybe he didn't have a wife? Maybe it was a daughter._

I could clearly see the resemblance, but there was something missing. Where was her mother? I looked up quickly to see Jeremy gauging my expression; unknowingly I had sat back down on the couch.

The room was tense you could actually feel it.

"Um…Is she your daughter?" the silence hung in the air for a long time, I hoped my question did not come off as rude.

I held my breath waiting for the answer. Just as tightly wound as he could make me feel he eased it just as quickly.

He laughed loudly and the glee was clearly written on his face, but…he was still tense I could tell by the way he held his shoulders.

"No, this little monster is my sister." As he said the words he held out his arms, the little girl walked right into them and allowed him to pick her up.

"Your…sister?" I was sounding more and more incoherent by the minute. He probably thought me an idiot. The way I asked it would sound as if the thought of him having a sister was unbelievable. I let the sadness that was beginning to seep inside of me go away.

_A sister…not a wife or even a child, a sister._ I smiled to myself.

"Yes, this is my sister her name is Chloe." he nuzzled his nose to her neck and sat back down on the couch next to me. The girl giggled happily and leaned against his chest.

I smiled again looking at the sight, clearly from the expressions on both of their faces they cared immensely about each other.

I allowed myself to look at the girl, _Chloe_ fully. She had the same black curls as Jeremy but hers hung down her back in beautiful ringlets. They had the same coloring, and mouth but most importantly her eyes are what intrigued me the most.

Where his was intense and unworldly hers was innocent and sweet, but they both were the same unique color.

I stopped my mental calculations when a thought hit me, one that I should have noticed already.

Jeremy's eyes were grey and my fur was grey. I knew it was stupid but I could not help the snort and laugh that came out of my mouth before I could stop it, how ironic was that? At least we matched.

Jeremy looked at me with amusement Chloe stared at me curiously again probably questioning what kind of lunatic her brother had brought home. Or maybe she was used to the odd ways of her brother.

That made me look at her again, she was indeed beautiful her face was still babyish though, maybe she was five.

Than something else hit me that stopped my laughter, What if she didn't like me? Would that make Jeremy not like me as well? I could see clearly he would not tolerate what would bring his sister unhappiness. But why did I care so much? Did I not just tell myself I would have nothing to do with Jeremy?

Chloe looked at me again, this time her expression was very serious as if she was contemplating something of great importance than she looked at me and leaned forward out of Jeremy's arms.

"You have pretty hair." her voice was soft and I looked at her face to see if she was joking surely she had to be. Her expression said she was being honest.

"Can I touch it?" she asked so hopefully, I nodded and she smiled prettily setting the stuffed animal to the side of her while her small little hands patted my hair.

"Don't get your hands caught in there." I joked pleased at her reaction to me; all she did was laugh and continue to caress it.

I looked up to Jeremy to see if this behavior was normal for her all that showed on his face was a look of smugness.

After a while he pulled her back slightly and put his mouth close to her ear.

"Go wash up, I cooked something nicer than cereal today and your name is written all over it." Chloe clapped excitedly again with one last look at me she hopped from his lap, grabbed her toy and bounded towards what I assumed to be her room.

As Jeremy watched her go his face became serious, the expression taking me by surprise again.

_What was it with this boy and his emotions?_ As quickly as the emotion was there he became calm looking at me with those eyes again.

This look sent shivers through my body and I almost averted my gaze, almost.

"You may have a problem with me knowing about you which is fine everyone is different but I have no problem telling you about myself."

Jeremy was going to tell me about himself? I became excited, I wanted to know everything about him, but commonsense stopped me from gushing that fact.

"Jeremy you don't owe me an explanation for anything. What you're doing already is more than enough." I politely told him even though it would suck if he took my advice.

"No Leah…" the way he said my name sent chills down my spine, "I want to tell you, its okay."

Chloe coming into the room stopped him from continuing he left to fix her breakfast and I exhaled.

What would Jeremy's life be like? And why was he now caring for a younger sister? I hoped it did not involve too much pain the thought of him hurting sent an ache through my chest. And how could I expect so much from him when I wasn't willing to reciprocate?

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**A/N: Heyyy? Sincerely hoped you enjoyed this chapter. So far do you like Chloe? At first she didn't exist but the more I thought about it the more it seemed wrong for her NOT to(she influences Jeremy's character a lot). She's an amazing kid if I do say so myself, but you'll see that later. Please review, the next chapter is in Jeremy's point of view(whoot whoot) it's quite interesting. Love, Bria**


	4. Jeremy

**Disclaimer:** Do not own anything Twilight, but DO own Jeremy and Chloe which kind of makes me feel better. Thanks to everyone who loyally review every chapter! I love you guys so much and look forward to your reviews every time I get 'em. Thanks to those who put me on their favorite or story alert I just wish you guys would review too so I know what you're thinking! Okay on to the story!

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__Jeremy _

Although I had told Leah I did not have a problem with her knowing about me once the time came I immediately regretted it.

After I made sure Chloe, -who had not asked a single question about Leah- was seated and had access to whatever she needed, I headed back to the living room this time opting to sit in a chair across from Leah so I could watch her reactions.

Last night had been…interesting for lack of a better word.

I did not know why the moment I took Leah into my arms it felt as if my whole world was about to change.

_I don't believe in premonitions and miracles stopped existing to me a long time ago, but what happened made even me think that maybe there actually is something to all of that. _

_The night had gone by normally enough; I cooked dinner, made sure Chloe bathed and was in bed than I went to sleep._

_But later that night I shot up in my bed in a cold sweat._

_Looking at the clock I saw it was 2:30 in the morning and I knew I would have trouble going back to sleep. _

_Before I could roll over and think about going back to sleep something made me get up. _

_It had nothing to do with my dream but something just made me get out of bed and walk around. _

_By the time I went to make sure Chloe was safe and still sleeping, my racing heart had slowed down but that did not stop my unease. _

_Something that can only be described as a pull made me grab a jacket and shoes and head outside. _

_Maybe I wanted to check out back and make sure everything was safe or maybe that was just an excuse. _

_The cold air cooled the sweat that had been on my forehead and made my body slightly shiver. _

_When I first got outside I swept my eyes around to see if anything was out of place. _

_After I was sure no one was out there I began to stare off to the left expectedly, but for what I did not know. _

_Once ten minutes had passed I saw a figure running towards me, or at least I thought it was running towards me. _

_It paused thoughtfully looking at the river in deep concentration, in the back of my head I wondered why someone was outside looking at a river at 2 in the morning, but then again who am I to talk? _

_So while all this was going on I saw the person jump head first into the stream it took me two minutes to realize they did not come up and 3 seconds to make my body react and try to help._

_The cold wind violently hit my face and I could just imagine how cold the water would be, forcing myself to not think about it too long I threw off my jacket and shoes and jumped in. _

_Maybe I should have been thinking of my own safety, but I was a really good swimmer. _

_The water was indeed as cold as I expected it I could barely make out the figure in the black night but the brilliant moon allowed some guidance._

_Splashing around I almost gave up when I slightly felt hair rub against my now numb arm, I dived in even more determined. _

_Finally my arms sought out what my eyes could not see and they wrapped around the body of what had to be a woman it took a lot of effort but I was able to push myself and the girl up. _

_Breaking the now violent water, filling my lungs with air was even more painful due to the cold. _

_It wasn't hard to push her out first than climb out. I was weak but the absence of sound coming from her made me worry if she was even alive. _

_Quickly making sure there was a pulse I turned her over on her back and performed CPR now happy that I actually learned how to do it. _

_I was growing tired and almost stopped when a thought hit me. Maybe this was someone's daughter, mother, or sister. The latter gave me more strength because I knew I would want somebody to do the same for Chloe. _

_The girl choked up a mouth full of water and groaned painfully rolling onto her side. _

_I quickly wrapped my jacket around her body but was shocked to find her temperature not cold like mine but actually quite warm. _

_I picked her off the ground and carried her into the house. Right before I placed her on the couch she squeezed herself against my body which caused my heart to nearly jump out my throat. _

_I checked to see if she was awake but her ragged breathing and closed eyes told me otherwise. _

_The next thing that worried me was her getting sick from the wet clothes but just as quickly as I thought about it I noticed her clothes weren't soaked like my own but seemed to be drying up. _

_Which not until later occurred to me as being strange._

_After I had showered, changed into warm clothes, and checked on Chloe I returned to look at the stranger on my couch._

_I checked again to see if she was alive than I sat across from her and just stared._

_I went to grab a towel and tried to carefully dry as much as her hair as possible without disturbing her. Even in this disgruntled state she was extremely beautiful._

"_I don't hate you that much Sam." _

_My actions quickly stopped when I heard her mumble that under her breath, fearing she had woken up. When I was sure she was just sleep talking I relaxed than tensed again in unexplainable jealousy. Who was Sam? But how could I have the right to be jealous when I did not know her. _

_Her body shivered and I assumed she was cold._

_After I placed a throw cover over her body and was sure she would survive through the night I went back into my room. _

_Lying in bed I promised myself to not bother her with questions if she didn't want to. I knew better than anyone how it felt to run away from something. _

The woman sitting before me now was a lot different than the limp body I carried out of the frigid water the previous night.

Besides the obvious fact of her immense beauty something made me very, very interested in her.

What made me so interested in her was the same pull or feeling that made me get out of bed last night.

She was looking at me patiently to tell my story but I could not stop the pause and admiration.

She was truly beautiful in a way I had not seen on any television or magazine.

But why was I letting that bother me? I knew me and her would never become more than maybe friends. I was determined to keep it that way.

She cleared her throat wincing slightly.

"Umm, Jeremy. Are you okay? You looked kind of out of it for a minute there. Like I said before, you don't have to tell me." Her voice and eyes sounded worried for my well being.

"No, sorry I was just thinking…about something." She leaned against the couch smiling as if waiting to hear a good story, too bad it wasn't.

"Well, you already know my name is Jeremy." She smiled and nodded her head, not commenting on me stating the obvious.

"I grew up in this house and it holds a lot of memories for me." For the first time in a while I allowed myself to take in the house in a new point of view, the point of view Leah had to have been taking it in by.

"Taking care of Chloe has been the best thing that ever happened to me, it's just too bad it had to come in the worse way." Her face frowned slightly probably wondering what I meant by that, but I was already thinking of another time and place.

"Chloe was just four when it happened and still I can see in her eyes that she's still not the same, that sometimes when she doesn't think I'm looking or when she allows herself to think about it I can just tell, you know?"

_A soft whimpering sound coming from Chloe's room made me get out of bed when I thought she was sleeping. Trying my best to not make any noise I walked down the hall to see what was wrong with my little sister. When I peaked inside her room she was clutching the small stuffed wolf she always carried around and her forehead was in a tense frown. At first I thought she was awake until I saw her eyes were closed and her breathing was still heavy. Her small body tossed and turned on her bed I went to wake her up when I noticed she had tears running down her face. When I went to wipe them off I guess my touch woke her up because she stared shocked and wide eyed at me, her face was so sad it broke my heart and I immediately held her tight against my chest._

"_What's wrong Chlo?" I tried to pat her unruly hair down to comfort her, but that didn't help._

"_It's nothing." She said so softly I could barely make out the words her eyes were staring down intently at the floor._

"_Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" Chloe looked at me as if she was about to say something, but then she shook her head no. _

"_I'm a big girl you know." And maybe that's where it first started and maybe that moment is when I should have been more open with Chloe, but I was too afraid when she needed me the most._

_I kissed the top of her head and stood up to go to my room when her small hand tugged my shirt. _

_I looked down at her still frightened eyes._

"_Pwease sleep in here with me Jermy" I smiled to myself at how she pronounced my name, it was more like "germy" than "Jeremy". _

_Once I had brought in the covers from our hallway closet and made a pallet next to Chloe's bed she had climbed down and was staring at me questioningly. _

"_You can come down here with me Chlo, its okay." After about 5 minutes she was already asleep and I was staring at her waiting to see if she would cry again. Chloe was a bittersweet gift her face held everything I ever loved in my life, but it also reminded me of everything I wish I could forget. _

There had been many nights like this, and each time I was just always there ready to make a pallet on Chloe's floor. Sometimes she slept in her own bed and sometimes she came down with me.

"Don't tease me about being a nerd because I've heard all the jokes but I finished high school early because my mother homeschooled me. Having your teacher live under the same roof as you and having that intense one on one learning everyday made me learn quickly and everything was so easy. When I had what I needed to leave and get a higher education I took the first thing smoking out of here. Now I can't even think of a single reasonable argument for my motivations because my parents were good people. I just always wanted more and I always ran away to get."

_I remembered the night I told my parents what choice of school I wanted to go to. The one that was as far away from here as possible; The hurt look on my mother's face and the anger on my father's for causing her pain haunted me even after I left. _

"I hadn't always been homeschooled but I got into so much trouble when I was younger that my mother just took on the job of helping me herself."

_My mother sacrificed a lot to make sure I had everything I needed and I never got to thank her._

"My other sister Christine was 13 at the time and Chloe wasn't even thought of. I wanted to be an architect like my father; he's the one who built this house as a gift to my mother. I think me wanting to do the same thing he did was the only thing that brought him pride when it came to me. Christine was more like my mother and she didn't need to be homeschooled. She excelled at everything and got straight A's but she was never cocky about it. That was just her being her. At the time I felt guilty for just leaving Christine like that, I never was a good brother to her, she deserved better."

I looked to see if Leah was still paying attention and she nodded her head for me to continue.

"Christine always helped my mother around the house I think my idiotic actions matured her faster than it needed to, but she always looked up to me. I was just her big brother and she loved me for me just like my parents. Anyway I left and school was great it was the freedom I had been looking for, but I still felt like something was missing. There were many friends and many girls but never anything serious."

_I remembered the times I went back home to visit and how hollow everything was. The guilt made me want to stop visiting less frequently and that's what I did._

"I'm not going to lie and say I'm not the reason for causing my family pain because I know I am. I was my parent's first child and I'm sure greatest disappointment, but when Chloe came along unexpectedly I think a new spark of life was breathed into our home."

_When my mom called me I was surprised to hear her voice and even more shocked to hear her news._

"_I'm pregnant."Those were the last words I expected to hear out of my mother's mouth._

"_Umm, your what?" I repeated the question still too shocked to even think straight, wasn't she too old to keep having kids?_

"_I know you're surprised, your dad and I was…beyond shocked as well, but I am and I'm so happy." I could clearly hear the smile in all her words but I was still so shocked. I mean geez, Christine and I would be years ahead of this unborn kid._

"After the initial shock we quickly got over it and 9 months later Chloe was born. My parents were more upbeat about even me, Christine was so happy to have a little sister, my mom even allowed her to name her. I was there when she was born but I used her as an excuse to stay farther away. I watched her grow up through visits and holidays we weren't that close but that was still my little sister."

Everything just hurt so much when I allowed myself to remember this story, I could faintly hear Chloe murmuring in the kitchen probably talking to that toy again.

"With my dad's help I eased into building very smoothly, it just felt like I was always meant to do it. Create things with my hands, and I'm glad I had the passion and loved what I did because the schooling was no joke. When I was done with all of that I moved back here, that didn't mean things changed 'cause between friends and projects I was barely around. My mother always tried to rekindle the broken relationships I had created but it was too late, my guilt prevented everything from being mended in the right way. I was a coward."

Leah looked as if she was about to disagree until I shook my head no, running my fingers through my hair I continued on with the story.

"Last year my parents and Christine died in a car accident." Even though there has not been one day that goes by that I haven't thought about this it still brought fresh pain hearing myself say it aloud. Leah leaned forward towards me and reached out to squeeze my hand, which brought a sad smile to my face.

"They all died instantly and maybe that was for the better. They tried to convince me there was no pain, but that doesn't make me feel better." The pain made my throat catch and I fought back the tears that threatened to come.

"And that's why it's just me and Chloe, my father left this house to me not that I deserved that, and I'm sure he never thought I would own it this soon. I wanted Chloe to be around something she was use to, convincing myself that it would make her feel better by being in her own room."

I blinked the memories away, tucking them into a place inside of me where they hurt a little less.

"Which reminds me, I know you'll feel better after being in different clothes, you and Christine were about the same size…I mean if that doesn't…bother you or anything?"

I tried to study her face to see if she was freaked out by wearing Christine's clothes but all she did was shake her head.

"No Jeremy trust me anything would be great right now. I'm honored."

I knew she was telling the truth and not just trying to make me feel better. So I stood up noticing Chloe had sneaked around the other side of the kitchen and had gone to her room.

I hadn't told Leah the worse part of the story out of fear of her hating me like everyone else already did.

Instead I made sure she was following me than I turned in the direction of Christine's old room forcing myself to not feel guilty about what I was keeping.

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**a/n: Well what do you think??? Please review and tell me, whoa Jeremy gives me a headache he thinks about his past a lot if you couldn't tell. Okay enough about that I had fun writing from Jeremy he's pretty cool, but there's just SO much…okay anyway. Review! Love, Bria**


	5. Fun Times

**Disclaimer: Do not own anything, thanks for reviewing I love you guys. This is kind of a fun chapter after the last one and you get a peak of what goes on in Chloe and Jeremy's spare time.**

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_Fun Times_

I watched Jeremy's retreating back, still slightly shocked from the story he had just shared with me.

It took all the restraint I had in my body to not put my arms around him as I watched the obvious pain in his face, and heard it in his words.

Even after all he had shared I could not shake the feeling he was keeping something important from me.

It was just the way his eyes slightly shifted from mine as he spoke of certain things and how he skirted around certain subjects, but who was I to talk? I was keeping the slight information that I could turn into a wolf. Now I'm sure THAT would definitely draw out a reaction from his cool demeanor.

As we walked down the hallway coming from my right I heard Chloe's soft voice when I looked I saw that she was talking, but her eyes were focused on something that was on the floor.

Whatever she was talking to she must really like it, she didn't glance up as Jeremy and I walked past her room.

Speaking of Jeremy, I could still tell he was tense from what he had just revealed to me and I couldn't blame him.

When we lost my father it put an immense strain on my family, losing more than half your family in one moment had to be hard and now he had to make sure a younger sister got through it too.

Even after he told me how wrongly he treated his family I still could not think differently of him and I knew it wasn't just because of the imprint.

Yeah, how he handled the situation with his family could have been done differently but everyone cope with their problems in various ways.

I could tell he still felt guilty about everything that was obvious in the stress in his eyes I just hoped whatever he was hiding wouldn't eventually eat him alive.

"Everything is mostly the same, Chloe hasn't said much about everything but she totally freaked when she thought I was going to put Christine's stuff away."

Call me paranoid, but I swear it sounded like all activity in Chloe's room stopped when she heard us come in here or maybe she was just done with playing.

I was so caught up in my own thoughts that at first I didn't notice we stopped at the entrance of Christine's room.

It was not big, but it also did not feel cramped or overcrowded.

Up against the corner of a wall was a full sized bed and the whole room seemed to be decorated in teal, blues and deep turquoises.

Instantly I liked this room it made me feel calm and its cool atmosphere reminded me of the sea.

I noticed Jeremy was watching me so I smiled at him reassuringly, remembering how hesitant he was when he asked me if I would want to wear her clothes.

Maybe that would have made some people uneasy it really did not bother me all that much.

Obviously the room hadn't been ignored because it felt airy, clean, and most surprisingly lived in.

Jeremy walked to a pair of dark teal sheer curtains which it took me a while to realize took the place of closet doors.

I continued to look around; on the opposite wall was a computer, desk, and chair next to that was a black bookcase.

It was filled with all different types of books.

"I always teased her about how much she read, I mean one day she's reading the life and times of Abraham Lincoln and the next she's reading about vampires."

The latter subject caught me so completely off guard that before I could stop myself my eyes had narrowed and I was seething under my breath.

"I take it you don't like vampires?" Jeremy asked looking at me with amusement clearly written across his face.

I nodded my head in agreement; he just didn't KNOW how much I disliked vampires.

"Yeah, I never liked them all that much either. I mean it just seem weird sucking blood out of someone it kind of reminds me of a bug…or a leech." he laughed to himself and turned back to the closet already forgetting the idea of a vampire and not noticing my expression this time around.

So he thought the damn bloodsuckers were leeches too? For a minute I turned the subject around in my head to casually bring up werewolves and see what he thought of us, but before the idea was fully formed I shook it off.

I was too much of a coward to hear his opinion if it was negative.

"Okay you should be able to wear this, but if you can't I'm sure we can buy you something I really wouldn't mind." He said as he handed me a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

By this time I really didn't care if the clothes fit or not I would still find a way to get myself into them to save him the task of having to buy me clothes.

When I thought about running away I should have brought clothes with me, but then again I hadn't planned on living somewhere.

"C'mon, I'm sure you want a shower too." Taking one final look at Christine's room I followed Jeremy out and into another room that was close by.

I followed him in there as well while he pointed out where the towels and -lucky for me- an extra toothbrush.

When it looked like he was done with his tour and was about to walk out I grabbed his arm. He was obviously shocked but he recovered quickly.

"Jeremy actually there IS something I can't borrow." he looked at me with confusion and his eyes quickly scanned the room as if what I needed would appear out of thin air.

When this had happened for some time I stepped closer and made sure to keep my voice down.

"I DO need panties…I guess I don't actually need them but you know, it is normal to wear them." I smiled as his face and eyes darkened and his heart picked up.

His eyes dropped to my mouth and it looked like he was coming closer to me, I felt myself slightly shiver with how close our bodies was, but just like a light being switched on the whole mood changed and he went back to normal.

"Okay…don't think this is weird or anything, but I DO have a solution to that problem actually. It's more my mother's idea than anything but she always said something about it this…" His voice trailed off as he walked out of the room scratching his head.

He quickly returned with a pack of never been opened underwear with a sheepish smile on his face.

"What can I say? My mom was prepared for anything." his smile turned from sheepish to sad than he walked out again leaving my head in a whirlwind.

~,~

The hot shower felt unbelievably good and washing my hair made me feel even better.

The muscles that had been cramped were now relaxed and my body showed no signs of my night excursions.

I found a brush and comb and with the help of one of the greatest inventions that was ever created -conditioner- I was able to brush the tangles out of my hair and it finally resembled something decent.

So, I didn't have to do anything strenuous to get into the clothes because I could actually fit them.

But before I walked out the door Chloe immediately came to mind.

Yeah, at first she seemed to like me, but after what Jeremy said how would she feel about me wearing her sisters' clothes?

I bit my lip almost not wanting to come out, but I did anyway. The cheerful voices coming from down the hall encouraged me to step out.

When Jeremy heard my approach he looked up from lying on his stomach and smiled at me with eyes that made my body heat up.

Remembering my dilemma with Chloe I looked at her to see her reaction as well, at first I thought I was right about me wearing the clothes, but a second later she smiled and motioned me to sit next to her and Jeremy.

As I got closer I saw what they were both intently looking at, it was actually a game board of Monopoly, but besides the name everything else was different.

The first thing I noticed was everything was Disney from the money which had Scrooge McDuck on it to what was originally Park Place and was now Lion King.

"Play with us Leah, Jeremy loses every time and you can be a princess too!" Chloe's eyes sparkled with her excitement.

I couldn't help the laugh and when Jeremy winked at me I had to sit down to stop the trembling mess my knees now were.

"I like Aurora she's so pretty, I wish I was Sleeping Beauty." Chloe caressed the silver game piece longingly, Jeremy rolled his eyes.

"Chlo don't worry about Sleeping Beauty you look better than her anyway and besides she needs some guy to kiss her awake there will be no guys kissing you awake but me." I couldn't help laughing at the frown that was on Jeremy's face at the idea of Chloe being kissed and I laughed some more when it was obvious Chloe was not paying any attention to him.

"Jeremy's right Chloe you DO look better and we don't need any guys kissing us awake."

Although I would not mind Jeremy kissing me awake, the girl did not know just how lucky she was.

"Besides I think I'm more of a Pocahontas type girl any…" I teased back at them.

And so it went, us playing Monopoly and me laughing at the bickering between those two.

It soon became obvious why Jeremy always lost; it was because he let Chloe win.

I think she knew what he was doing but she didn't say anything.

After I had landed on one of Jeremy's properties that had 3 cottages on it I nearly went bankrupt.

He smiled at me flashing those straight white teeth and I forgave him for taking everything I had.

I quickly learned not to put anything pass Chloe either, to be only five she knew how to manage her funds, I saw a future career for her.

With Chloe coming in first place, myself in second, and Jeremy shrugging his shoulders at both of us the game was finally over.

I guess even with Monopoly being Disney I sucked at that too.

I remembered when my mom, dad, Seth and I use to play Monopoly. That brought an ache to my chest, I missed my dad so much and it was always the little things that made me remember him the most.

"It's okay Leah you might win next time, 'sides I had a lot of practice with playing. Its okay" I felt Chloe's small hand rubbing reassuringly across my arm and I couldn't help but laugh at the look in her eyes. She was so sweet!

Jeremy on the other hand was looking at me thoughtfully, leaning on his arm, his teeth biting his bottom lip.

What was he thinking? The man was damn sexy without him even trying!

I shook my head trying to get a grip on myself.

Moving my eyes around I made sure to not look at Jeremy again, my eyes landed on that same small table I had seen before noticing for the first time all the photo albums.

"You want to look at the pictures?" I was shocked to hear Jeremy ask that, so I hesitated before answering.

"If that would be okay? I would love to…" Jeremy nodded his head smiling at me.

"It wouldn't be a problem I don't mind showing you." His gaze shifted to Chloe and I worried that maybe this would be the thing that she reacts negative too.

She was not looking at either one of us, instead focusing her attention at a point we couldn't see.

"Jeremy can you put on my movie please?" Jeremy frowned slightly at her and got up to put the movie on.

Before she left she smiled again at me.

"I'm going to watch my movie, but if you want when you're done with Jeremy you can watch with me." I nodded still smiling at her thoughtfulness and she skipped off.

I heard the noise coming from Chloe's room and got up to sit on the couch; the nerves in my stomach were curled just a little at being alone with Jeremy again.

Before I could think of any more thoughts Jeremy was back with a small frown still slightly on his face.

I scooted over on the couch to make room for him and he sat a big book on my right thigh and his left.

"I thought you being here would make her look at the pictures, but she still refuses to even acknowledge them." The worry showed in his words and I rushed to make him feel better.

"Give her some more time Jeremy, she's just a kid, she handles things in her own way."

He sighed still worried, but turned to open the book anyway.

The first picture made me laugh.

In front of me was a picture of a naked Jeremy he had to be about 1 or 2 years old.

He was standing up in a tub with 3 inches of water and soap was in all of his curly hair. He was adorable!

"It's not THAT funny Leah, geez." He said gruffly and I worried if I had offended him. The smile on his lips and the light in his eyes told me I hadn't.

I turned the page still smirking when it landed on a picture of a beautiful pregnant woman of about 5 months.

Her cheeks were slightly flushed, but she was smiling widely.

She had the same black curls as Jeremy, but hers hung all the way to her waist, those same grey eyes smiled lovingly back at me.

The woman was so lovely it took me a minute to notice a frowning Jeremy clinging to her pants leg.

"That's when she was pregnant with Christine, I was 7 at the time."

"Why are you frowning?" I pointed to the boy Jeremy at the picture with his eyes narrowed.

"I did not appreciate taking a picture when I had better things to do like eating icecream."

_Was it my imagination or was his mouth really close to my ear?_

"What can I say? I was a naughty boy." Okay it could not be my imagination when his breath tickled the nape of my neck.

"And what about now? Are you still naughty?" I don't know what made me ask him this, but I did and my body was more than ready for the answer.

"Maybe you'll just have to find out." I looked up to see him wink at me and lean back against the couch. I let out the breath I was holding. Wow I really needed to calm down.

Throughout the next pages were more pictures of Jeremy, his mom, and now a small red bundle of a baby. When I came across the picture of a handsome man I stopped.

"That's my dad." Jeremy's voice held that same sadness he had when he told his story to me earlier.

The man staring back at me looked nothing like Jeremy or his siblings. He had sandy colored straight hair, really light brown almost gold eyes, and a tired smile.

"My dad was a serious person, he and my mom were complete opposites but they brought out the best in one another."

On closer inspection of other pictures I did notice little characteristics that Jeremy and his father shared.

When Jeremy pursed his lips together and his eyebrows slightly frowned I saw where he got it from. They had the same ears and their bodies were built the same way. There was also something else I hadn't noticed.

"What's your parents' name?"

_How could I have forgotten that?_

"Marie and Joseph." For once I could hear the smile in his words and that made me feel a little better.

The next picture was a close up of a stunningly beautiful young woman.

She was smiling a small sweet smile at the camera, her eyes looked as if she held a secret and was not telling.

If it wasn't for those same stormy grey eyes I would have been awfully jealous.

"Christine" I said and Jeremy gave a small nod, his jaw had become tense, his eyes narrowed.

"She's…wow, lovely." I said again running my eyes down the flawless photo.

The only thing she did not hold the same as her brother and sister were the curly locks.

Instead her black hair was silky straight, in long layers past her shoulder.

I imagined she would be what Chloe looked like when she got older.

"She was 18, that was last year…right before, well you know." I nodded silently, placing my hand on Jeremy's knee.

I was surprised to feel his smooth hand cover mine. We continued to look through more and more pictures of Jeremy and his family from photos of a wedding to the last picture of a year younger Chloe. I did not have to ask to know that's when Jeremy's mom stopped taking the pictures…

"She took pictures of everything, she didn't want to be a photographer but she always wanted evidence of everything that happened and photos were the best way to do that."

I nodded remembering all the different types of photos from child births, and playing with mud-pies, to a glowing Christine at her 12th grade graduation.

I heard the deep breathing of Chloe coming from her room and noticed we had been on that couch for a long time looking at Jeremy's memories.

"Oh, Chloe wanted me to watch the movie with her. I completely forgot!" I felt bad until Jeremy laughed.

"Don't worry Chloe has watched Barbie and the Nutcracker a million times and will be more than delighted to let you make it up to her by watching it a million more times."

I was about to argue when I felt his fingers lightly run through my hair.

_Was he really doing that? _

I turned to face him and his smiling face greeted me. His eyes were half closed and I noticed how tired he looked.

"Maybe you should take a nap too Jeremy, you look awfully tired." That seemed to wake him up because his eyes widened in surprise.

"No Leah, I can't leave you up by yourself." But I knew he was tired, I could feel it on him.

"It's okay Jeremy I might take a nap too." I lied, he looked at me and nodded probably giving in so quickly because he was truly tired.

"If you do decide on that nap feel free to go in Christine's room." He tugged on my hair one more time and got up from the couch.

It could have been me or the imprint, but when he left I had to dig my nails into the couch to stop my legs from following him.

It just felt like I needed to be close to him.

I felt the soft material under my nails give in and I felt guilty for hurting the furniture.

_Get a grip on yourself Leah_…

Instead of going to follow Jeremy I turned in the direction I knew Chloe's room to be.

I peeked in to find her curled on a large shaggy rug fast asleep. I let myself into the room.

Chloe's room was a purple wonderland. From the softest lavender that almost looked pink to a deep plumb.

The screen showed the loud music to the ending credits of the movie she had been watching and I turned it off.

I don't know why, but I felt a deep feeling towards the little girl.

I picked her up off the floor and noticed she was clutching the small toy she was so fond of.

On a closer looked I noticed it was a small wolf and I nearly dropped her to the floor.

Could things get any more ironic? The wolf was gray so I guess, yeah it could.

I looked around the room again noting the butterflies that were around the wall in different places.

Like her sister's room her closet doors was also sheer plumb curtains which struck me as being pretty cool.

Where Christine had many books Chloe had a case of many movies, mostly of the Disney variety.

I sat on her carpeted floor, my head felt heavy so I leaned it against her bed.

Staring up at the lavender colored ceiling I strained my ears in search of Jeremy.

From across the house I heard his deep breathing and knew he was sleep.

_I wonder what Seth is doing right now?_

I felt guilty leaving my mom and little brother behind in La Push, but at the time my life just felt so hectic.

I knew they would be okay, I just hoped my mom wasn't stressing too much.

I'm sure the pack was celebrating their little vacation away from me.

For a little while I pondered why I was in Chloe's room instead of Christine's but for reasons beyond my understanding I felt a strange pull to be near the little girl.

Before long my thoughts turned into dreams of Jeremy's muscular arms being wrapped around me and I felt myself smile in my sleep.

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**a/n: Whatcha think? Okay first don't think I'm throwing Chloe's toy in there just for irony. It's significant in a big way. If you haven't noticed Jeremy's kind of hot 'N cold. I might post the next chapter very soon, I'm not sure yet…Okkkkkkay please review, Love Bria**


	6. Broken

**Disclaimer: Still not owning nada, oh well. This is kind of short and it was kind of hard to write. Whoa, thanks for the reviews your speculations and comments make me laugh while brightening up my day. Okay hope you lovely people like it.**

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_Broken_

I stared bewilderedly at what had been set in front of me.

"And I'm expected to actually eat this?" The question brought on another set of laughter from Chloe and Jeremy rolled his eyes at me again.

Well, I wasn't too fond of eating small animals when I had no choice in wolf form, but this made me just as uneasy.

"What ever happened to just pepperoni or all cheese?" I asked them both quizzically. The afternoon nap had turned into evening and now we were up pondering dinner, or at least I was.

"Leah it's not that big of a deal trust me, you'll love it." Jeremy said grinning around his share of food, Chloe nodded in agreement.

Before me was a plate stacked high with different slices of pizza. Two had the toppings of diced pepperonis, olives, and mushrooms while the other two had pepperonis and jalapeños. Like I said I liked to keep things simple with the pizza options but obviously these two didn't.

So being brave I picked up the first slice.

_If Chloe can eat this and enjoy it I can too._

First I was surprised than thrilled to find I actually liked the pizza, it didn't take long to find out I liked the one with jalapeños as well.

"Chloe you can eat this spicy stuff?" She nodded, but Jeremy shook his head

"I only let her eat one with jalapenos, she knows they're hot but she always tries to downplay it."

So embarrassingly by the time dinner was over I shamefully had eaten seven slices of pizza even more than Jeremy who had eaten six.

Chloe stared wide eyed at me and said a couple of times she hoped I would not get a tummy ache.

I could have eaten more, but I decided to have a tiny ounce of dignity.

Jeremy looked a little green, I would put that off as a pride and his attempts at trying to keep up with me in the food department, Chloe laughed at him.

All in all it was a pleasant dinner.

Jeremy and Chloe went their separate ways while I volunteered to clean up the little that was left from dinner.

It was getting late when I decided to find Jeremy.

His distress hit me before I saw him and that bothered me that he was upset.

He was crouched on the ground his head tilted slightly to the left staring at something that was unseen in the trees.

I was about to turn around so I wouldn't disturb him when his head whipped up at me.

His eyes at first were filled with so much anxiety that I quickly went to him, but by the time I got there he was already standing and the anxiety was gone.

What he did not know was that I could still feel it on him.

It made my stomach knot up and curl in on itself.

_What could be bothering him so much? Dinner seemed to have gone fine…_

Then I remembered how much I did not know about Jeremy, and how it felt like he was hiding something from me.

"Are you okay?" Impulsively I reached out to grab his hand but as soon as our skin touched he tensed and pulled away.

That behavior shocked me, something was wrong with him.

"I, uh, I'm sorry about that. You just took me by surprise that's all…" As he spoke his eyes never met mine and his rejection made me uneasy.

_Oh hush with the dramatics Leah maybe it's for the better that he decides to stay away from you._

_Isn't that what I wanted in the first place?_

As if knowing his bad behavior had affected me he tried to quickly cover it up.

"Leah, do you want to take a walk?" Now that caught me off guard.

I looked around to see where we could possibly walk to.

His deep chuckled pulled me out of my thoughts.

"It doesn't have to be a big adventure, but on nights like this I do like to walk around and think. Chloe's sleep…so would you like to come with me?"

It was a beautiful night indeed, the sky was clear and the stars were abundant.

The glowing moon was the only light around and it illuminated everything, Jeremy's eyes seemed to twinkle like the stars.

"Okay, let's go."

He grinned at me and pulled my hand to follow him.

We took off into the trees; it seemed we both ignored looking at the river he had found me in the previous night.

As we got deeper into the woods it seemed like another life lived in the night.

Owls called to one another and I could sense the other animals hidden in the trees.

I wondered to myself if Jeremy would be safe out here alone.

_He's been out here since before you came… _

Our hands were still intertwined and I felt the heat coming from his body.

His eyes seemed focus, he was sure of where we were going.

If worse came to worse I wouldn't mind getting lost with him though.

I could protect us both, but I did worry about Chloe…that pull I always felt around her was…eerie and strange which bothered me.

So caught in my own thoughts I did not notice we had stopped our trek into the woods and Jeremy was now facing me.

My heart stopped when his hand reached out to touch my face.

He rubbed my cheek slightly than brushed some of my hair behind my ear.

His touch left a scorching trail on my already hot skin.

I felt a tingling sensation in my stomach.

"Were you lost in thought for a moment there Leah?" All I could do was nod, I felt like a fool since the simplest things he did caused me to act in the most ridiculous ways.

His eyes were no longer the stormy grey I was use to, they had hardened and now resembled frozen ice.

"You know Leah…there's just something about you that I can't figure out. And it bothers me."

He looked calculating at me and I felt guilty for not being honest with him, but not guilty enough to tell him.

I pulled away for our bodies had begun to get dangerously close as if we gravitated towards the other.

_Um, no duh Sherlock you kind of DO gravitate towards each other, even if he doesn't know it._

"Yeah, I get that a lot. Maybe you should stay away from me." I teased him as I walked backwards he was still looking at me.

"Maybe I should."

This caused my heart to stop until he smiled and stepped closer to follow me.

Feeling lighter I began to run and laughed as he tried to keep up with me.

The trees swirled pass me, I knew my hair would be filled with leaves if I kept hitting these branches.

I did not stop running everything just felt so good, this was the first time in a long while that I was truly happy with myself.

The wind felt lovely against my skin, running was the thing I enjoyed most about being able to phase.

It gave me a sense of freedom and always left me feeling exhilarated.

I giggled at Jeremy's hard breathing as he tried to keep pace with me, he should have began to tire so I stopped abruptly.

"Oh shit." It barely left his mouth before I felt the force of his hard body knocking against my back.

I did not bother to stay upright so we both fell on the ground and began to roll, I caught a glimpse of his worried face and began to laugh some more.

We tumbled over twigs and dirt, but I did not care everything just felt so right.

We ended with him lying on top of me with a slightly abashed expression on his face.

I did not immediately move and neither did he.

He was looking at me in a way that I could not quite fathom, the moon was the perfect backdrop behind the lovely outline of his face, and I reached to pull a leaf from the disarray his curly hair was now in.

He smiled slightly than looked down at our entangled bodies.

"I'm sorry" He said as he quickly got up and reached down to help me to my feet.

_I'm not sorry…_

When his body was pressed against mine it brought back feelings I had long ago buried and thought I would never feel again.

We looked at one another than looked at ourselves again the laughing easing the sudden tension.

We were a mess! No better way to say it, I felt guilty about the holes that were now in Christine's jeans and the shirt that was slightly ripped and covered with dirt.

Jeremy had a smudge on his cheek so I went to rub it off, he held my hand there.

His face heated against my touch and I wondered why he never mentioned my temperature, everyone else did.

"I hope this does not come off in any way other than what I intend for it to do, but I swear it looks as if there are stars in your eyes…" His now husky voice trailed off uncertainly.

The sound of his voice made the roots of my hair tingle and my toes curl.

His warm breath pulled me in, I felt slightly intoxicated, it was a nice feeling.

And just like before and beyond my control I involuntarily took a step closer to him, I just could not help it.

His hand moved from my face and now his arms were wrapped around my waist and this time HE pulled ME closer 'till we were both touching.

By this time his heart was already beating frantically and if mine wasn't doing the same I would have been worried.

His head leaned down towards me and I could almost feel the ghost of his lips against mine…

"I'm sorry Leah, I, I can't do this." The words stumbled out quickly as he let me go and began to walk away.

I felt stupid for following when all I really wanted to do was run the opposite direction of Jeremy, something was beginning to feel off about him.

When we arrived on the porch right before we reached his door he turned towards me.

His whole body was stiff, face and eyes devoid of all emotion.

"I'm sorry…about tonight Leah. I should not have encouraged…this thing that we seem to have or that's trying to develop. I just…can't, I'm sorry, but you're still welcomed to stay…just not in this way." Each word hurt a little more and something inside of me snapped when he finished talking.

I felt it pulling and breaking away from me, he stared at me for a second longer.

"Please come in, it's cold out here." In with those last words he turned away from me and walked into the house.

The pain was one I had never felt before even with Sam this gnashing feeling in my chest was one I had never experienced, it made me weak and sick to my stomach.

I do not know when I went from voluntarily studying the starlit sky to when I was on the cold ground and could do nothing but stare up at it helplessly.

_What the fuck is happening to me?_

My vision blurred and my head began to pound mercilessly, I tried to feel where Jeremy was in the house, maybe his presence would help but unlike earlier today the connection I first felt was gone.

I could hear him rustling around in the house and Chloe's restless sleep.

And although the pain was harsh what stood out to me the most was the tinier pull I still felt, the one that was unreachable but still there.

The one I knew to be Chloe's.

The walls I tried so hard to not let come again made an appearance, I guess it was my way of protecting me.

I hated feeling weak. I was never one to be weak, Imprintee or not.

But even more dishearten I knew it was too late

My soul felt…like it had been split in half, the pain impressing on me so hard breathing became a difficult concept.

I felt like well, I was…

_Broken_

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**a/n: Err, don't hate me TOO much for this…wow that Jeremy I don't know what to say about that kid. I promise we're finally getting ****somewhere****. And the next chapter is quite interesting. Have any questions? Feel free to ask, Okay please review, Love Bria**


	7. Destiny

**_Disclaimer:_** Do not own anything. Hey! I decided to put this chapter out pretty soon, I start school Wednesday...eck which is lame but I don't think it's going to slow the updates...hopefully *cross your fingers*. Thanks for taking the time out to review, that really gives me a warm tingly feeling inside...bahahaha! Okay read and **enjoy**

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_Destiny_

Okay, well, is it not true that one person can only take SO much?

That's the case with me and I do believe it is the same with Jeremy.

That night I must have lain on the ground for 30 minutes before I was able to get myself up again.

I had to pull my knees against my chest to stop the trembling, the raw emotion was so intense it took all I had to not phase right there on the porch.

What he did later only made matters worse.

I HEARD him, yeah about 15 minutes after he left he must have realized I never came inside because I heard him approach the door so I knew he saw me out there.

What did he do? He walked away!

So since then it would be an understatement saying things had been awkward.

And it hurts, it hurts like you wouldn't believe to even try and avoid him but there is nothing I can do about that.

I thought seriously of just moving out and dealing with this incomplete feeling in my soul for the rest of my life, but I changed my mind.

_Chloe had asked me to brush her hair because she wanted her curls to be as straight as mine –the attempt was futile, the girl just has extremely curly hair- I tried to reassure her that her hair was lovely the way it was, but she would not hear of that. _

"_Please Leah? Christine use to brush my hair all the time…" Her voice trailed off and I was too shocked to disagree. Chloe NEVER mentioned her family, ever._

_Things had been extremely…tense. So I figured it was just time for me to leave._

_So after about 3 minutes of fruitless brushing I brought up me leaving to Chloe. I did not want to tell Jeremy yet, well I would have told him but he seems to not want anything to do with me._

"_Chloe, I was thinking you know, about going back home soon." I did not tell her the reason why._

_Her whole body became rigid and she turned around abruptly._

"_No Leah you can't! Please don't leave me!" By the time she was done she had began to sob noisily and I was afraid Jeremy would storm in._

"_Chloe, shh please calm down honey." I quickly wrapped my arms around her and tried to stop the trembling her little back was doing. While she never told me outright she hated me being here she also never told me she enjoyed my presence._

"_Are you still going to go away?" Her voice trembled as she tried to control the tears rolling down her red cheeks._

"_No I won't leave if you don't want me to." And I was positive that no matter how long it hurt me to stay here I would stay as long as Jeremy would allow it, and when he finally kicked me out, well I didn't know…_

_What bothered me most though were not the feelings I felt to not want to make Chloe cry or see her upset, but how much it pained me PHYSICALLY. _

_When she was in pain I was in pain as well and it freaked me out. _

_But being around her also eased some of the pain I felt because of Jeremy._

I knew I did not imprint on Chloe that was impossible, when I saw her for the first time I did not feel the same way I felt about Jeremy.

I did not see the stars in her eyes nor did I feel as if she held me to the earth.

BUT I also did not feel normally about her, there was still something in me that felt an immense connection to her.

Although Jeremy and I did not progress much from the first day, Chloe became a big part of my life.

The only down part to that was a lot of the things she wanted to do with me she also included Jeremy, oblivious to the tension that was so present in the air.

Which brings me to today

We were sitting on her floor trying to figure out a puzzle when Jeremy interrupted.

That night had been two weeks ago and there were barely mumbled words between us.

After about 4 days I began to feel sick and could barely keep down the food I forced myself to eat.

"Leah can I talk to you please?" His eyes were pleading and I noticed his face looked haggard.

I glanced at Chloe to see if she would mind but she merely nodded her head.

A slight pleased look was on her face, but I did not know if that was from Jeremy and I finally conversing or because she discovered a new puzzle piece.

I got up and swayed slightly on my feet, my head felt dizzy but I was beginning to get use to that.

Jeremy reached out to touch me but his ice cold hand made me jerk away.

He stared at me in shock.

"God, Leah you're burning up! Are you sick?" That surprised me since he never noticed my temperature before and I was sure it had not changed.

I shrugged and followed him outside, the afternoon air felt chilly and I was sure it would rain soon.

"Leah…something is wrong here and I'm not exactly sure what it is"

I stared at him incredulously, what did he expect me to do with that?

He must have noticed my confused expression because he quickly continued.

"Look, I never bothered you to tell me much about yourself because I knew it made you uneasy."

He was right, before the sentence was barely out his mouth I had already tensed up.

"Ever since I met you…I've felt extreme feelings towards you." He looked at me and quickly looked away pulling on his hair that had begun to grow out a little.

"I know it must sound crazy, but I care for you, a lot. The first time I looked into your eyes I felt attracted to you and not just physically either so do not think that way. It just felt like I was searching for something I myself did not know of than when I found you I realized what it was. That scared the shit out of me Leah, and you know what else freaks me out?"

At this point all I could do was nod too afraid to try and speak.

"I thought staying away from you would be for the best and all the weirdness I was feeling would just go away, but call me crazy…" He paused and rubbed roughly over his face, his eyes now squeezed shut.

"I can't NOT be by you. It's like my body doesn't belong to me and sometimes I feel myself walking towards you without even realizing it."

He opened his eyes but still refused to look at me, his face pensive and he tugged his hair anxiously again.

"And since that night, with what happened with us…I don't feel the same. And I know it's not in my head because all I have to do is touch you or casually brush by you and the pain ease a little. Or just being close to you make my chest stop aching when I should not be feeling this way!" He threw his hands up and finally stared at me

"What the hell am I suppose to DO with that?!" His eyes were wide and glazed over.

"I think I'm going crazy Leah…"

He sunk his head into his hands and his shoulders tensed.

I reached out towards him because it was time I did, I rested my head on his back and hugged him as close as I could.

"I've been trying to fight it Leah…I don't want you to think there's something wrong with me, but I just…I don't know anymore. Fighting seems to make it worse, like right now I'm just allowing myself to feel these feelings and I'm already starting to feel better."

And he was right, with him giving in to the force of the imprint I myself was beginning to feel better.

The weight that seemed to be heavy on my shoulders for the past 2 weeks seemed to have vanished and breathing was a lot easier.

_Who knew the imprint went both ways? How did it affect the people who tried to fight it? Who WOULD try to fight it? They always said no one could resist that amount of adoration, but I think it goes deeper than that. Once fate decides to entangle two destinies those strings would forever be entwined, one could not be cut unless both were._

"Do you think I'm going crazy?" His deep voice made his back vibrate and I bit my lip against the guilt.

_This is all my fault_

"No Jeremy I believe you."

I could FEEL him now. That pull from deep inside of me was back and I realize it must not have ever left, like the numbness was going away.

It was as if he were just an extended part of me.

Hesitantly I reached out to smooth his entangled hair.

He seemed to relax under my touch and he finally looked up at me.

His eyes were like a clear grey sky after a hard rain.

His smile was unsure until I smiled back at him, his smile made me feel lighter and I could not help feeling brighter.

"I'm sorry about ending things the way I did that night Leah. I was just so confused…"

I put my fingers over his lips to shush his own berating, I did not like to feel him in pain and he was obviously in pain.

"Jeremy you look tired…"

He looked worse than tired and I wondered if I looked the same way.

"I've been having a few restless nights to be honest with you."

"Well, get some sleep while Chloe and I play…or do something"

"You know, I feel guilty with you taking care of Chloe so much…I don't want you to feel obligated to look after her." He rested his forehead on his arm, I laughed.

"Chloe is sweet plus she's no trouble at all so I think I benefit from it more than anybody else."

I helped him up before he could argue more, making sure to not use too much strength that might freak him out.

After he stumbled off to wherever he go –it hadn't occurred to me until that moment that I did not know where his room was- I went to see what Chloe was up to.

My step was lighter, everything felt so much better, until I saw Chloe's sad face staring out the window.

Her grey eyes matched the overcast sky.

"Chloe…what's wrong?" She did not turn around immediately but finally she did.

"Is Jeremy okay?" I was not expecting that.

"I don't know what…but he's been acting different lately and I'm worried about him." Her small mouth was pursed sadly and it just about broke my heart.

Of course she would notice if something was wrong with her brother, he was her only other family and she loved him a lot.

"He wasn't feeling well at first. But now he's okay sweetie."

I opened my arms and she walked into them, something I saw her do many times with Jeremy but just now with me.

"Are you sick like him? 'Cause you seem sick to."

I stopped the circling motion I was doing on her back to take that in.

For her to be so young she was extremely insightful, so I decided to be as honest as I could.

"You're right, I was a little sick…not feeling well, but I think I'm going to be better now." She studied my face for a while than nodded and put her head against my chest.

"Good, 'Cause I don't want you to be sick. I love you Leah."

That was the first time she had ever said that and it made me choke up.

I had to clear my throat before I could go on.

"I love you too honey, and don't worry me and your brother is okay now." She nodded her head

"Now what do you say about us making something nice for dinner? I think your brother would like that, what do you think?"

She nodded enthusiastically and nearly jumped up from my lap in her excitement. I laughed glad to see her happy again.

"What's his favorite meal? Do he have one?"

"Yes! Jeremy loves lasagna!"

I smiled at the way her eyes sparkled when she was truly thrilled about something.

"Hmm, I never made lasagna before…I guess we'll have to do some research…" My voice trailed off as her face turned back into one of melancholy.

"Research will not be that hard Chlo, I promise." All she did was shake her head and look towards the floor.

"He only likes the special lasagna…" Her bottom lip poked out and began to tremble, tears clouded her eyes

"Chloe it's okay maybe we'll do something besides the lasagna." I tried to reassure her to no avail

"No, no lasagna!" She did not sound angry just slightly hysterical

"Okay Chloe, just let me figure out how to make it." Tears rolled from her eyes and I felt helpless

"Jeremy loves the lasagna mommy use to make." She started to hiccup.

I picked her up again and let her cry for a while until she was finally calm.

We ended in the kitchen with her showing me the cookbook that had been pushed in the back of a cabinet.

"Are you sure you want to do this Chloe?" She nodded

"I want to surprise Jeremy!" She was happy now, so I was happy too.

"Okay right off the bat tell me some of the most important ingredients we'll need." I said as I looked through the refrigerator.

"Umm, I remember pepperonis, olives, and sausages!" I shook my head while noting those items were in the fridge.

"Of course, why didn't I think of that?" This family was obviously never one to keep things simple. I playfully rolled my eyes as Chloe bounced laughing.

~,~

"Wow…Am I dreaming? Something smells amazing!"

I stood nervously while Chloe bounced anxiously against my leg.

I swear I don't think she stopped bouncing the whole time we cooked.

"Sit down, I made dinner." Jeremy looked at me in surprise before he smiled down and sat at the table.

"Just because I never ATTEMPTED to cook HERE does not mean I can't cook at all."

I chewed the inside of my mouth.

I was nervous about his reaction to the meal I cooked. It seemed like a good idea at the time but I did not know how he would feel about this dish in particular.

"Well, why don't you guys sit down and eat with me? Chloe looks like she's about to combust! Are you okay Chlo?"

Chloe laughed and ran over to Jeremy while I got the salad and bread.

"You're gonna love it Jeremy, Leah is amazing promise!" Chloe boosted my ego a little, but it was enough to clear any doubts.

When I set our plates down I stared at him, I noticed Chloe had the same look on her face, we were waiting.

Without hesitation Jeremy dug right in and began to eat, Chloe followed soon after, I on the other was too nervous waiting for their reaction to eat.

"Wow, it taste just like mommy's did!" Chloe exclaimed and ate some more.

Jeremy choked on the portion that was in his mouth and stared at the both of us in shock.

I began to eat even though he looked at me questioningly.

He finally gave up and began to eat again.

"This is amazing Leah, wow I AM impressed." I smiled smugly to myself, because it WAS good.

Dinner went by smoothly and it was late at night when I decided to sneak out of the house.

From their breathing I made sure both Jeremy and Chloe were asleep and I let myself out the backdoor.

It had been a while since I phased, the longest I had ever gone and that took a lot of control.

I was just feeling so happy with my life that it just finally felt RIGHT to phase and run through the woods.

I changed into some sweats and a tank top leaving both high on a branch so they would not get too dirty.

Besides the obvious I had not phased because I did not want the pack to know what I was up to, but I promised I would check and if it felt like someone else was phased I would quickly change back.

It did not take long to phase, usually my anger would speed the process up but this time I was so happy that worked just as well.

I let thoughts of Jeremy ease the vibrating I felt go down my spine and Chloe's smiling face and electric eyes helped.

Everything around me became even more focused and detailed, the smells now had a different texture to them and my happiness was slightly less intensified.

Just as I said I quickly made sure no one else was phased and when it was all clear I took off into the woods.

The wind felt good going through my fur, I ran around the house and even splashed through the river in the back, I was so happy I laughed but it came out as a loud yelp so I quickly grew quiet again.

The moon was so beautiful tonight I wished I could share it with Jeremy.

I don't care what others say about us not being true children of the moon, to me the moon always held an extreme significance to me.

This was the first time I was actually happy about being a wolf, where being a freak in my own kind because I was the only girl did not bother me.

I was just truly happy and my mind was finally peaceful, and too happy was I to not realize when my private sanctuary had been invaded.

"_**Leah?!" **_My heart stopped beating when I recognized who it was, the sound that had disrupted my thoughts and penetrated straight to my mind the way no other voice can…unless of course you were part of the pack.

"_**Is that really you?!" **_The gruff voice demanded.

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**a/n:** Whoa, who could THAT be? Hmmm, guess you'll have to find out...later. Review **please**, Love Bria


	8. Missed You

**Disclaimer: **Do not own anything. THANKS for all the reviews! wow school IS already kicking my butt, but I'm going to update as soon as possible. *****oh, and umm there IS extreme language in this chapter so if such offends you, well...you have been warned. **Hope you enjoy..._

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_Missed You_

I stopped breathing and tensed up as if that would help with the current situation.

_Sure Leah, be still and you'll suddenly disappear…_

The thought slipped before I could stop it and I winced at the outburst.

"_**It IS you! Where have you been? Don't you know we've all been worried sick about you?!"**_

The voice inside my head nearly screamed, Wow that sounds pretty weird.

_Why don't you calm down? I can't explain with you yelling so much._

And I knew before the decision was concrete and even before it registered in my thoughts –especially before it registered in my thoughts- that I would keep everything about Jeremy and Chloe secret.

I don't know why but I just needed to protect them even from my pack brothers.

"_**Well tell me what's been happening with you! I missed you so much…"**_

I laughed a hard sarcastic laugh, or at least as sarcastic as a wolf can be.

_Sure Embry, I know your world has suddenly stopped revolving because I came up missing._

The mind internally winced as if offended; I did not let that bother me even though I knew he was being honest.

"_**I'm telling the truth Leah, you don't have to believe me but at least believe Seth and your mother has missed you immensely. Seth tries to make it easier for her…but she's still worried about you."**_

Even though he did not sound at all condescending the statement still made me feel extremely guilty.

A picture of my mother's worried face appeared in my mind's eye, her eyes seemed to be filled with stress and her face look slightly aged.

I felt even worse and on top of that guilt I felt bad that I left my little brother to have to deal with it.

"_**I don't want you to feel guilty Leah but we have to see that every time Seth phases, it's stuck in all our heads."**_

I realized Embry was trying to hide something, if you were not absolutely good at it when you were inside the packs mind it was so obvious when a person deliberately went around thinking a subject.

_What's wrong Embry? Did something happen?_

I'm glad it was Embry because he did not have that much willpower as soon as I prodded even a little bit after a while his will crumbled and he sighed.

The memory hit me hard

"_That's bullshit Sam! I don't care what you have to say."_

_Sam and Seth seemed to be glaring each other down while the pack stood around tense watching the scene unfold uneasily._

"_How can you blame this on ME Seth?! I did not tell her to leave! You know that as much as I do!"_

_Seth stepped threateningly close, even though he was smaller he still somehow was able to stand his ground._

"_You might not have said it outright but it was plain obvious you didn't want her here. The way you looked at her, your fucking thoughts. So just push her away because you're not much of a man and can't deal with the choices you made!"_

_Paul growled at Seth while Sam winced, Seth snarled right back at Paul._

_It seemed as if Sam was about to lose his cool than he calmed down hushing Paul as well._

"_That wasn't my fault and there's nothing I can do about that…You've read it in my mind you know that can't be helped. I did not intentionally hurt her."_

_Sam's voice was cold and detached his eyes hard and black as onyx._

"_Fuck you Sam, you didn't try to fight it. You fucking gave in to Emily as soon as it happened. Forgot Leah like she never fucking existed so you could be with her damn cousin. All you did was offer a sorry ass apology like that would fix anything, you know what Sam? Do you not know "sorry" is just a damn word and don't fix shit?"_

"_Seth!" Paul tried to stop Seth when Sam whole countenance seemed to falter, his mind finally giving in to the pain, guilt, and regret he tried so hard not to feel around anyone. _

_The pack shuddered because they had to feel it too._

"_Leave him alone. It's his sister man, you can't blame him that much."_

_I was surprise to here the confident voice of Jacob coming to Seth's defense and Embry agreeing with him._

"_I love her, still do. But it's just not like that with us anymore. I CANT love her like that."_

_Sam's voice was regretful, but that seemed to push Seth even more._

_My sweet soft natured brother, It was strange seeing him with so much anger. _

_I regretted not being there to help him._

"_And THAT, 'Oh I'm sorry Leah I still love you and all but I just don't want to be with you.' Oh yeah Sam that helps everything. Just save all that for someone who'll actually believe it. Maybe you can tell Emily how much it hurts you, she'll comfort you and make you feel better again."_

"_Don't bring Emily into this!" Sam snarled, the protectiveness he felt for her radiated in every word._

_Seth shook his head as if confirming something with his self._

"_Don't you see no one wants to hear that Sam? Have to see and listen to it every fucking day? That can kill a person, maybe if you weren't so busy trying to ignore her to make yourself feel less of a dick you would know how she felt. I guess I can't blame her for leaving."_

_Seth turned and bolted the opposite direction of the pack, Embry took one last glance at Sam who was trembling and staring at something unseen than took off after Seth._

I was shaking from everything I had just saw, I always tried to convince Seth to not allow my hate for Sam ruin the image he had of him too but I guess this finally did it.

_Everything's a mess…I have to get back home_

Embry was surprised than suspicious.

"_**Why aren't you cursing Sam's name too?!"**_

I had to talk quickly before I thought too much about it.

_Things have changed…being away from the pack has allowed me to…clear my head a little bit better. Give things a new perspective._

Embry nodded in surprise understanding than something hit him.

"_**Are you in a dead zone or what? We tried to follow your scent but it freakin' disappeared! That's why we freaked out so much, it looked like you had gone in a river and never came up. We checked –Sam especially- in the river…to see…if we might…find you there. But it was nothing, not a trace after the river. So it just stopped behind this one house…and that's it. Where ARE you?!"**_

It took everything inside of me to keep my mind in check, it was almost painful.

_Umm, I DID come out the river…I don't know why you guys couldn't smell me…_

_Huh, that was weird…._

Embry and I both puzzled this over, an image came to his mind but quickly went away I almost passed out but was able to keep myself in check.

_Embry what are you doing out here it's like 2 n the morning?! The pack isn't still patrolling that obsessively is it?_

Embry shrugged sheepishly

"_**You know…no imprint or anything, I don't have nothing better to do." **_

He was grinning like an idiot and I couldn't help but smile.

_Go to sleep Embry it might help your brain-cells, we all know you need as much help in that department as possible._

I laughed when he playfully growled at me, this was the kind of thing I did miss.

"_**You seem...better Leah, I'm happy for you."**_

And for the second time that night I was happy Embry caught me and not anyone else, he was a nice kid.

"_**Well, thank you Leah you're a pretty decent kid too."**_

_Shutup and tell me what I've missed while I was on pack vacation_

He became animated than

"_**Okay, besides the obvious everything else is pretty much the same. You won't believe Quil he's so dumb I swear, reminds me of a mother hen on steroids…"**_

_Quil had taken Claire to the beach, nothing out of the ordinary with that until Claire wanted to play hide-n-seek. So when Claire demanded Quil to run far away and turn around to count the little Miss took off with unbelievable speed. First she dipped herself into the water and…disappeared. The only way we knew she went into the water was because Quil heard her go in and swear he heard her get out too._

"_Okay Claire ready or not here I come!"_

_At first Quil playfully looked for Claire but after 3 minutes of not finding her and not being able to pick up her scent he began to freak out._

"_Claire! Claire!" Quil was running around looking for Claire nearly in tears because he thought he had lost her when he went over the place she was about ten times._

_With a closer inspection Claire had been hiding inside a little and surprisingly deep sand fort with some other little kid._

_**Of course Quil went crazy with happiness and now refuses to play hide-n-seek fairly. He has to cheat and see exactly where she's going and it's even worse, from his first bout of depression from missing Claire he ALWAYS has to know where she is! Even when she's with her mom, I swear I see the beginnings of gray in his fur."**_

Embry joked in disgust

"_**I'm never going to imprint on a little kid man…sounds like too much of a hassle."**_

_Yeah right Embry, like you actually get to CHOOSE._

Embry laughed and shrugged

_No…but really why COULDN'T he find Claire? I mean what about the pull? That could have helped if he wanted it to._

I was confused and Embry was too

"_**You know…I don't know much about that whole Imprinting business but it did freak Quil out, he said it was like she wasn't even there anymore…He's pathetic though, he even has dreams about losing Claire and finding her in the most weird places…but anyway let me tell you about Jared…"**_

_Jared and Kim had gone to the park…_

"_**Well, you know how Kim is about…uh, wanting to go and do different things with Jared right…?"**_

_So Jared goes away for like 5 minutes 'cause Kim wants an icecream from the little cart man that comes by every 30 minutes and when he comes back with the icecream is being pushed on the swing by some guy. She looks like she's about to fall off and has this worried look on her face when Jared comes up to the swing, the icecream all but forgotten on the floor._

"_Who the hell are you?!" Jared ask the kid menacingly_

_Obviously the guy didn't see the look on Jared's face or think much of it 'cause he just keeps on smiling and pushing Kim on the swing._

_Kim looks like she's about to puke by the way._

"_Umm, do you mind stopping? I feel kind of sick."_

"_Aww, don't be a baby. You'll be okay." And he's still just pushing that damn swing._

"_Didn't she tell you to fucking stop?" _

_Jared had gotten close enough to force the guy to stop pushing the swing while he grabbed it and made sure Kim was okay than he turned to the boy._

"_Who are you? Her fucking dad?"_

"_Jared! No!"_

_But it was too late by the time Kim was finished speaking the guy was spluttered on the ground with blood gushing from his nose in shock._

_Kim was pulling him away and vowing to never go back to the park._

By the time the story was finished Embry was howling with laughter.

_I hope you guys didn't condone his behavior…_

But of course they did

"_**Aww, Leah he was just having a little fun…you know just playing with him. That's what he gets though for messing with an Imprint."**_

_Yeah, of course he knew he was dealing with a psycho boywolf ready to beat his brains to a pulp for looking at "that girl" the wrong way…_

"_**It's just Jared and Quil, they're the crazy ones but its fun watching them go through all that over a girl."**_

Than his playful mood went back sober

"_**So when ARE you going to come back Leah? What am I suppose to tell the pack and your brother? Man…you wouldn't believe how worried Sam's been not even Emily can calm him down. The kid is going berserk."**_

I purposefully ignored that last bit about Sam

_Tell my brother I miss and love him and tell mom I'm okay, I'm a big girl and I love her too. Tell them I'll be back…soon. Tell the pack thanks for worrying about me they can stop…I'm good. Tell Quil to stop worrying so much about Claire or he's gonna get a brain ____**hemorrhage**__ and won't be any good for her when she finally gets older. Tell Jared not to go around beating up helpless boys, save that for Paul. And stop looking for me or I'm NOT going to come back._

Embry nodded

"_**We were just worried, but now that we know you're okay we can calm down again. You shouldn't do that you know."**_

_Yes daddy Embry_

His mind cleared up again and he was once again his usual playful self

_And by the way if you keep dissin' the whole imprinting thing Fate is gonna make you pay for it sooner or later…_

I warned him not serious at all, he snorted

"_**Yeah right, if a girl makes me Imprint on her she HAS to be pretty amazing. There's no other way." **_

My friendship with Embry was one I never expected, but enjoyed nonetheless

I missed home and the thoughts made me sad again

I could see all the familiar places because Embry had started walking back to his house, I guess he was ready to turn in for the night.

"_**You're right Leah…I am getting tired but please…Don't take too much longer to come home. We miss you."**_

_Is anybody else going to phase anytime soon?_

Embry was one thing, but I didn't want to come across someone else

"_**I don't think so…a lot of them phased back right before I came out here, but I wouldn't risk it."**_

I did not want to risk it either

_Bye Embry it was nice talking to you again…I missed you too you know_

"_**Just don't take too long, think of your mom and Seth."**_

I nodded and the connection was gone, I was again pushed into silence and was faced with my own thoughts.

That's when I fully comprehended ALL of Embry thoughts.

When he thought about the house the pack had come across by the river I nearly had a heart attack!

It was JEREMY'S house that they were at!

Embry must have been deep in thought because the comprehension DID hit me for a second before I tossed it into the wind.

But that's not what worried me…

_Why didn't they pick up my scent after I got out the river? _

That confused me, I never thought about them following my scent and how it would ultimately lead to this house.

_But they can't smell me…_

Luck must have been on my side because although I was not deep in the woods I was facing the opposite direction of Jeremy's house.

If Embry had come another time I might not have been so lucky and he would have remembered the house.

Which reminds me

_I need to phase before someone else comes around_

And I guess I wasn't so lucky because as soon as the thought left I heard the snap of a small twig coming from behind me.

Instinctively I whirled around even though I probably should have run deeper into the woods.

Yes, I have not COMPLETELY controlled my phasing but I did do a damn good job.

We would burst out of our clothing in the beginning mostly out of anger, but honestly any strong emotion would and could do the job as long as it was powerful enough.

Obviously even the shock of Embry phasing was not a powerful enough shock to prompt the reverse phase.

But seeing Chloe staring at me wide-eyed clutching that stuffed animal at 3 n the morning was enough of a shock.

She was what I LEAST expected I'll tell you that much.

And it shocked me right into a trembling naked mess on the ground.

I knew she would run soon now. Tell her brother of the monster that was living in their home even if he didn't believe her, her tears and fear would have to do **something**.

"I didn't…I didn't believe when Christine told me at first…She always tell me stories but I thought they were just to make me feel like a big girl. But I believe her now, I knew it had to be true when I first saw you!"

She was almost squealing again, even in the darkness I could see that same sparkle in her eyes.

She was nearly ecstatic

_WHAT THE FUCK?!_

**

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a/n:** Questions???? I had alot of fun writing this chapter and the interaction between Leah and Embry. He's funny. So what did you think?! Hope you liked it, review please! It helps me work faster and make's me happy because...school sucks, ugh. Love, Bria


	9. DreamCatcher

**_Disclaimer: _Do not own anything still...Thanks for the reviews everyone I really appreciate them. School sucks this makes me happy. Read and enjoy.**

_

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DreamCatcher _

"You really came for us!"

She was no longer happy but nearly blubbering and I was still on the ground with no clothes on.

"Um Chloe I'll be right back."

And since there was no reason for me to hide anything I quickly ran into the woods and was back(clothed) before she realized what happened.

"Chloe…I thought you were happy about this? What are you crying for? I'm confused you said Christine said something about this?"

She was shaking her head with so much force I wondered briefly if it would just roll right off.

"Chloe calm down we need to get back inside before your brother…"

Oh, God did Chloe make enough noise to wake him up? Was he on his way out here as well?

"He's still sleeping, I was extras quiet promise."

I nodded and grabbed her hand, at first I thought she would be afraid of me touching her but of course she wasn't.

"Are you going to go back to be a wolf again?" She was whispering excitedly.

"Not tonight I'm not." I whispered back to her as I picked her up and quickly snuck into the house.

Before entering I checked to see what Jeremy was doing, from the same heavy breathing coming from another part of the house I knew he was still asleep.

"Tolds you I was extras quiet."

I looked at Chloe who was peering inside the dark house with a sneaky look on her face, as if we really were up to suspicious business.

"Thank you for that much Chloe."

When we got back safely inside her room I was finally able to let out the breath I was holding.

Jeremy still had not woken up and Chloe was looking at me expectantly.

"So Chloe tell me what you meant about Christine telling you about this?"

Chloe began to fidget with the hem of her nightgown, looking nervously at her feet.

"I had the dreams!"

She yelled so loudly I was shocked at first, her eyes were big and brimming over with tears.

"Chloe don't be so loud honey I'm right here now what dreams are you talking about?"

She didn't look at me for a long time and continued to stare out the window I knew enough about her by than to know it was okay.

She usually got a far off look in her eyes when she mentioned anything remotely about her family, and especially when it was about her older sister Christine.

"Christine let me sleep with her lots of times when I had the bad dreams. I went to daddy and mommy first, but Christine said I could just come to her and not wake up mommy and daddy 'cause they were really tired…"

Her small hands were now gripping the cover on her bed.

"It was bad people trying to hurt Jeremy."

_Bad people trying to hurt Jeremy?_

"Why were they trying to hurt Jeremy Chloe?"

"I don't know! They always tried to hurt him and I couldn't do nothing bouts it!"

She was crying so much I was at a lost on how to comfort her and worried at the same time that Jeremy would wake up and hear us, but she quieted down.

"Christine said Jeremy was okay, but I didn't believe her 'cause he always went away…I never saw him that much, I always saw Christine but Jeremy fought with daddy a lot…"

"Christine said he was just at school for big peoples but that's stupid 'cause Jeremy is a grownup and I wouldn't go to school if I was a grownup."

She looked utterly confused at the thought of having to go to school when she got older and I couldn't help but smile.

"So I tolds Christine everything because Christine was almost a grownup too like mommy and daddy and because I wasn't a big girl yet I knew Christine would find a way to help Jeremy from the bad people…than you came like she said you would."

The whole time she had been staring out the window looking at the cloudless sky but when she mentioned me she turned around to face me with an earnest expression on her face.

I was confused by her words.

"What do you mean, I came in? Are you talking about when I got here?"

_That had to be what she was talking about, what else? But what did Christine know about me? Did she know about the world I lived in? The world she lived in, but few humans ever found out?_

Chloe shook her head.

"No…you were in the dreams with Jeremy…"

She looked at me like I was missing something and honestly I was.

I just couldn't understand what she was trying to tell me.

"So…you dreamed about me…with Jeremy? Before I got here?"

She nodded her head

_How was that possible? It couldn't be possible_

"When the bad people tried to get Jeremy you always come most of the times. Sometimes you looked like how you look now and other times you were the wolf. You always protected Jeremy though…"

Then she looked worriedly at me

"Don't be mad Leah, I knew you would do a good job but I was still scared that's why I went to Christine. And I always woke up before I knew how it ended…I was too scared to stay."

"You saw me…? As a wolf…In your dreams?!"

Her eyes were fearful and I immediately regretted getting loud.

"Don't be afraid Chloe…You just took me by surprise…but continue. How did Christine know about me?"

"She didn't know until I told her…than when I told her everything she gots me this."

During the whole conversation Chloe had been holding onto it, I really do not remember a time seeing her without it but once she mentioned it she held it a little bit tighter in her arms, burying her face in its plush texture.

_The grey wolf, of course…that makes sense_

"So after you told her about the wolf in your dreams she got you one?"

Chloe nodded, her nose still pressed firmly into the fur of the wolf.

"She said it would protect me like it protects Jeremy in his dreams, I told her it was more than a dream that it was real!"

I grabbed her in my arms because she had begun to whimper softly.

"Christine always believed me she said the wolf would come and always watch us, and after she gave me the wolf the bad dreams went away…"

I waited a while until she started again, all this information was giving me a headache.

"Did you come from…heaven? Like a guardian wolf-angel?"

She was truly curious now and I couldn't help the light laughter.

_Me from heaven? Yeah right…if only she knew…_

"No…actually I came from a regular family just like yours, well they're not THAT regular but I think you get it."

She nodded in understanding

"Jeremy told me not to ask you where you came from, in case it hurted your feelings and I didn't want to do that."

Her hair was matted down all over her head; she looked like she had gone on an adventure.

If Jeremy did see her he would wonder how she got that way.

"Chloe how did you follow me? I could have sworn you were sleep before I left. I checked on you."

She looked guilty than admitted

"I was asleep but I had the dream again and I hadn't had them since Christine got me the wolf and I was scared so I went to find you in Christine's room but you weren't there…I knew you would be outside just like the dream so I came to find you!"

_None of this made sense, her having dreams about me. Me feeling this sort of…bond to her, it was unheard of._

"I'm just as confused as you are Chloe…honestly I have no idea how you were able to have dreams about me before you even met me. But it's probably because you're an amazingly special girl. I told you, you were better than Sleeping Beauty."

I nudged her remembering the time we all played Monopoly together, she smiled widely up at me.

"Do you think I can turn into a wolf too?!" She was bouncing now, extremely excited I hated to let her down.

"I don't think you can Chloe…"

Her hopeful expression quickly fell and she bit her lower lip and her eyebrows frowned down.

_Just like Jeremy's…_

"So how come you can but I can't?" Under all her curiosity I knew she was tired

"How about we clean you up first and I'll tell you the whole story?"

So after she had changed into something cleaner and was tucked in, I sat at the foot of her bed with my back pressed against the wall.

"Well, the place I came from is my home…sorry it's not heaven but I think it's just as cool. Your sister was right…my family we er…protect the people of my tribe…"

"From the cold people!"

I was shocked, again

"The cold people?"

She looked at me bashfully probably regretting that she had mentioned it.

"Sorry…it's just Christine's friend was cold…and he gave me the bad dreams…I'm sorry"

…

_What?!_

"No, don't be sorry Chloe it's okay. And yeah we actually DO protect people from…COLD guys but these people are really cold and they hurt people."

She looked terrified, so I begrudgingly admitted even though I did not want too

"Well, not ALL of them are bad…I GUESS. Some of them are nice…I know some nice ones so don't be afraid…besides I'm here and I promise they won't hurt you."

_Stupid Cullens_

"So we turn into the wolves because our fathers before us did as well to protect human life from…the cold people and that's why I can turn into a wolf with my brothers…"

_Keep it edited, no need to mention vampires_

"There are more of you?!"

"Of course…I have a real brother that my mom and dad had his name is Seth, but I also have MORE brothers that can turn into wolves…kind of like a wolf-pack and were really close, I love them a lot."

"If you love them why did you run away from them? Don't you miss them? I miss Jeremy all the time."

I nodded

"Of course I miss them and right before I saw you I was talking to one of them…his name is Embry. But if I would have never run away I would have never found you and your brother. So I guess I can take the pain of missing them because I found you guys in return."

She nodded her head but her eyes were beginning to get heavy, she would be sleep soon.

"And that's everything."

"I'm glad you left than. I'm glad you found me and Jeremy."

_Something bothered me…_

"Chloe please don't tell Jeremy about all of this."

"I won't…promise"

I patted her forehead and got up to leave, her eyes shot open.

"Don't leave me yet!"

The distress in her words pulled at that tiny part of me that felt so connected to her.

"How about I stay until you fall back asleep? I promise nothing is going to hurt you."

Soon she was drifting back to sleep and I watched her in her unconscious state.

She was still gripping the wolf even in her sleep and I smiled at that, she was so complex and so much was contained in that little body of hers.

When I got back to Christine's room it was four and I was exhausted.

_From the cold people!_

That bothered me, maybe it was just a coincidence but I learned stuff was not just a coincidence anymore and the things that seemed impossible weren't that far off.

The scent of vampire would have hit me a long time ago if a vampire had been anywhere near this room, so that was out.

_No vampires have been around here, close to Chloe or Jeremy_

I collapsed on the bed, my already complicated life had just gotten a little more complicating and a lot of unsolved problems still plagued me.

_Why did Chloe dream of me before I even knew of her existence? Why couldn't the pack catch my scent anymore? Why didn't Quil find Claire that day at the beach and why the hell does it feel like I imprinted on two people?_

My restless thoughts turned into restless dreams and I vaguely wished in the back of my head that I had a little dreamcatcher like Chloe to filter out all the bad images that haunted me.

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**a/n: I know this is going to leave you with a lot of questions. Hope you liked it, PLEASE review. Love, Bria**


	10. Deception

**Disclaimer: Do not own anything. Sorry it may have taken so long. Hope you like it!**

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Deception

_I was running. Again the moon was high in the sky the air around me frigid. But this time instead of running away from something I was running TO it. I knew my time was short to get to where I needed to be before the inevitable happened. My heart felt as if it would burst right through my chest, but that did not stop me. Leaves and rocks alike crumbled under my determined paws, from just up ahead I heard the howl of a wolf. I pushed a little harder. By the time I broke through the clearing it was already too late, the cry escaped from me before I fully knew what was going on._

"Leah wake up, are you okay?" Something I could not see was shaking me.

It was not rough but it was enough to pull me from my dreams.

"What's wrong?" The hand brushed across my cheek and I realized tears were running down my face.

I sat up in confusion and immediately registered Jeremy's distressed face.

"I'm okay honestly."

I really was okay in fact I felt fine with him being so close.

His figure was hovering over my body, his eyebrows still furrowed down.

"Really Jeremy I'm okay." But I won't be for long if his body stayed this close to mine.

"Jeremy leave Leah alone I told you she was a big girl."

Jeremy frowned at me than glanced at the small voice coming from the left.

The sound of her voice reminded me of all that had occurred the night before, I laid back down with a groan.

For the first few minutes of wakening I had forgotten all the questions and confusion but now it hit me again like a ton of bricks.

"Are you sure you're okay?" His distress was coming off him in waves.

Although my head felt as if it would spilt and I was pressing my arm across my eyes to block the blaring light I still needed to comfort him.

"I'm fine promise I think I just had a head rush or something." I reached up to smooth the crease I knew would be between his eyes.

I heard Chloe walk into the room and stand beside me.

I peeked from under my arm to see her; she was staring down at me on her tiptoes.

"So what's on the agenda for today?"

So many things to sort out, so many questions unanswered.

_I need to go back home._

"Actually Chloe and I have to go…out. But we shouldn't be gone too long."

It took me three seconds to notice they were both fully dressed and alert, which was more than I could say about myself.

I felt my face heat up when I also noticed how high up the sun really was.

"What time is it?"

"Oh, not that late just a little after one."

_Oh, not that late just a little after one?_

"That's late Jeremy." I sat up again running my hands through my hair.

"I didn't want to wake you, Chloe slept late too…so don't feel too bad. Maybe it's a girl thing."

He scratched his head actually running the idea through his mind.

His face was so thoughtful I couldn't help but laugh.

"Yeah, a girl thing." I winked at Chloe who was grinning at me but immediately felt guilty about the secret I was keeping from Jeremy.

I knew once he found out what I truly was any small feelings he thought he felt about me would fly out the window.

The idea made my stomach clench and my throat burn a little bit.

_This would be a good time to run away and go back home._

I shook my head, it would hurt too much to leave and I was too selfish to test it, at least not yet.

"So we'll be back in a few hours." He was backing out the room looking at Chloe, she was looking back at him.

Those two could not hide anything.

"Maybe I'll clean something while you two are gone."

I felt guilty about just coming in and interrupting their lives, I didn't even have money of my own.

"No, no do not clean!" Jeremy's voice startled me.

His eyes were wide and nervous.

Chloe's was a mirror of that look.

He calmed down a little bit.

"Just…relax Leah. You can even go back to sleep if you want okay? Everything's cool."

His tone was one that so obviously tried to display nonchalance that I laughed again.

"Yes Leah, relaxxxx everything's cool."

Chloe dragging her words as she tried to mimic Jeremy was hysterical.

"Okay strange people I'll relax, now go so you can come back."

I looked at Chloe, something was different about her.

After more awkwardness and Jeremy embarrassing himself they finally left.

I paced around the house.

I had not been alone since I phased and the quiet seemed foreign.

The house just felt empty without Chloe and Jeremy so I opted to go outside.

I did not phase for I was sure if I did this time I would be greeted by more than Embry.

The sun shining was different from what I was use to, but lovely nonetheless.

I had been walking aimlessly ten miles into the woods when the scent first hit me.

It was repulsively sweet and burned my nostrils.

Instinctively I sneered and the origins of the smell appeared just up ahead of me, all I could see was the leeches back.

Before I could think about phasing the figure turned around and faced me and the snared died in my throat, surprise and shock taking its place.

Another leech appeared and stood in front of the first one, his stance casual yet still protective he watched me with frightening onyx eyes, but my attention did not stay on him for long.

That's why it did not occur to me that although he was present his whole being was slightly filmy as if fog needed to clear before I could see him fully.

His partner was the one that prevented me from at least tempting to rip them to shreds even if my attempts were futile.

"Please calm down we mean you no harm."

My body had begun to quake and convulse, even if I tried to fight it knew its natural instincts.

"Who are you?" I demanded the beautiful voice, reflexively taking a step forward.

The man took a step in my direction as well, not exactly threateningly but also not one I took lightly.

He finally became more than substance and I could see him fully.

I guess he was her mate.

The eyes were different but the face and everything else was the same even though I had only seen the beautiful young woman in pictures.

"I think you kind of know who I am already, but I would gladly introduce myself."

She had stepped forward taking her partners hand into her own.

They were now standing equally in front of me, he looked down at her and something passed between the two because he relaxed his cautious stance.

"I'm Christine and I really appreciate all that you've done for Chloe and Jeremy."

Even though her eyes were bright red and distracting I could tell she was sincere.

"How can this be?" Nothing made sense anymore and it hurt too much to try and figure it all out.

"I'll tell you everything when things become a little less tense." She looked at my still trembling figure and I relaxed as well.

I had not realized I was crouched slightly over.

She smiled a beautifully dazzling smile which caused her mate to smile as well giving me the opportunity to look at him closer.

Smiling he was less intimidating; His hair was a golden mane of loose shoulder length curls, he was tall and muscularly built, his features were perfect of course but all in all he was beautiful.

"I love the creek it's just this way I promise we mean you no harm. I would just like to talk to you."

This was Jeremy's dead sister of course I would talk to her I had many questions but old habits die hard I hesitated before following them.

She turned back towards me.

"Please Leah"

Her eyes burned and I could not help following them to the small creek a few yards out of the way.

We sat down, I farther away I hoped I did not offend her.

Dead or not she was Jeremy's sister.

"It's okay if you want to sit farther away, your scent is not very pleasing to me either."

Her nose crinkled slightly and her eyebrows furrowed.

She looked so much like Jeremy it was strange.

Her laughing mate pulled me away from my thoughts.

He looked too serious to laugh but he was laughing at her and it made me feel better.

He was smiling teasingly at her, she looked guilty.

"How about I don't have to smell you and you won't have to smell me?"

The question was confusing and I did not quite understand what she was asking of me until she smiled and nodded her head.

That's when I noticed the burning went away, instead the natural smells of the woods returned.

"What happened? I know the wind did not blow your scent away."

She was looking at her mate now, who had his arm wrapped around her but was facing away from the both of us looking at things unseen.

"Nicolae hid your scent from me and mines from you."

I frowned even more confused, but she took it differently.

"I'm sorry, I told myself I would not do it. I mean I don't want to offend you about your smell, I mean I know you can't help it. Like I can't help mines."

She threw her hands up in frustration and I knew if she was human her face would be red.

"Calm down love, just explain it to her."

She smiled kindly at him, it softened his face a little before he glanced at me and turned away again.

She rubbed the hand that was resting on her waist and tried again.

"Okay, well Nicolae has a…talent? You could say. He hides things, like smells, emotions, senses and people."

She frowned having to know how strange that sounded.

"Anyway he offered to hide your scent from me before you even got around because he knew you would smell awful…"

She caught herself

"I'm sorry, I smell awful too and I'll understand if you say it. Okay anyway he offered and you would not have known when he did it but, you know, I felt bad so I told him not to. Anyway I can see your discomfort so I guess it helps us both right?"

Christine asked me but looked at him, he smirked at her and she nudged him.

"Please tell her you're not offended because you smell like a wet dog, honestly she's going to beat herself up over it when it's not 'a big deal' isn't that what you call it? And hun you DO NOT smell awful you have the loveliest smell it has been my pleasuring of smelling. If that makes any sense"

This time she tried to shove him away from her but he would not let go.

"You see why it's better if he does not talk? Yes of course you see, do not mind him."

Their playful banter was enough to sidetrack me from all the strangeness that was going on.

"I thought you were dead." I blurted without thinking much about it.

Her smile turned down and her eyes saddened.

Nicolae gave me a hard look but turned and smoothed the black strands of hair away from her face to behind Christine's ear.

"I feel immensely guilty, immensely everyday over what happened. Call me selfish and I'll admit that I should be called worse."

Nicolae's hand moved to the back of her neck where he cradled it gently, I felt very intrusive the two were so intimate without knowing it.

"Yes you can call me all that and more but I do not and will not regret what I did."

Things started to make sense.

"So Nicolae thought to change you? But how did you get away with that?"

I thought I had it all figured out until she shook her head sadly.

"Contrary to what he believes I think he would have got along just fine if I had died."

Nicolae flinched and I knew she was wrong.

"Of course I'm selfish and no one ever thought I was but I am. Love makes you want to do things that under normal circumstances are impossible. That's why I'm able to live with this guilt because of love. I made him change me, it was wrong the tactics I used to make him do so but he did and although I did not know at the time fully what I was getting myself into I do not regret it one bit."

I hadn't noticed Nicolae was gripping a large stone until I heard all the pieces shatter and crumble into dust.

Christine rubbed his hand and smoothed the frown that seemed to be indented permanently on his face.

She looked fully at me, not a look of hostility but one that dared me to question her actions and point out the wrongness of it all.

The look was one no mere eighteen year old could fully possess in such a short span of life.

She knew and accepted the course of her life with no regrets.

That was something many people that lived to see a hundred could not say.

Jeremy was right, very mature indeed.

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**a/n: Whoa, didn't see THAT coming really. Wow…I'm shocked too, but this is how it has to be. If you have questions please ask and review PLEASE. Can't wait to hear(er, read) what you have to say. I think the next chapter will be from Christine's point of view and I promise more LeahxJeremy soon, but this had to happen first. I'll try to update soon, just so much work. Grr. Love, Bria**


	11. Essence

**Disclaimer: Do not own anything.**

**Sorry it took so long! Please read and enjoy!**

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Essence

I watched Leah as she held my gaze earnestly.

"If you do not mind I'd like to hear your story."

Of course I did not mind after everything she had did for the people I loved.

Although to an outsider it may not have been seen I knew how much she changed Chloe and Jeremy.

He got by of course for the sake of our sister but he was a shell of the man he use to be, I could say the same about Chloe.

My cheerful little sister was once all bubbles and carefree now she was hesitant and thoughtful.

A girl her age should not be that way.

It was all my fault.

I guess earlier I had lied to Leah when I said I had no regrets, sure Jeremy was different and he let his guilt eat away at him, but he could get over that.

I regret what I did to my baby sister, my sweet Chloe.

The last time I saw her was when it first happened after that I made sure not to be around either Chloe or Jeremy, until now.

Mere seconds had passed since Leah asked her question she did not notice the path my mind had wandered off to, but Nicolae did.

I refused to look at him but I felt the slight pressure around my waist tighten.

"I do not mind telling you my story that is the least I can do."

Leah nodded and settled in as if to hear a pleasant tale, too bad she would not get one.

"I guess things changed when I first met Nicolae, it was a day after school when I had wandered off into the woods on a walk…to think and clear my mind."

_Fall was here and the day was chilly and dreary. _

_I loved days like this because Fall was my favorite season. _

_The leaves had changed and littered the gray ground with splashes of color. _

_My father warned me not to make a habit of walking into the woods alone, but I could not help myself something always pulled me here. _

_The creek was where I went most days, just to sit and think, the scenery in itself always took my breath away and that's the first time I saw him. _

_I had come out here many days and never saw the young man until now, he was not familiar nor did he go to my school. _

_His back was turned away from me and all I could see was the outline of his shape as if he was barely there. _

_At first I thought my eyes and mind was playing tricks on me. _

_The only thing that stood out was the golden hue of his hair. _

_I thought he was an angel until he turned around, there I knew in the dark abyss of his eyes, he was more than that. _

_His gaze was one so fierce that it caused me to stumbled back and fall scratching the palms of my hands. _

_His black gaze flickered to my scraped hands quickly than he turned away again, it was when I could no longer see the beauty of his face did I notice its absence. _

_I had never seen a person male or female as beautiful as the man before me and I doubted that I ever would in my entire life._

"_Please forgive me, I have been contemplating this day for a while now but when you finally came it took me by surprise."_

_My eyes widened and heart sped up from the seductive tenor of his voice, I felt my face also heat up in response._

_The man was now a solid form before me, reaching down to help me up._

_Maybe I should have been shocked by the icy touch, but it just seemed like another part of him, besides how could I be shocked by a touch when I just saw him nearly vanish and reappear?_

"_What do you mean you've been waiting a while? Who are you?"_

_Maybe he was some crazy weird stalker_

_He smiled as if able to hear my thoughts and I knew he was no stalker, it was more to it than that._

_The sharp gleam of his teeth reflected the last rays of the sun and gleamed. _

_It stopped me short._

"_Or should I say __**what**__ are you?" _

The shifting of Leah's body dragged me from the past for a second.

"Oh pardon me, I forgot your discomfort of sitting so long. Do you need me to stop?"

Her eyes were slightly widened and she shook her head motioning for me to continue.

"I'll be okay, go ahead please."

I nodded, giving a quick glance to Nicolae his lips were pressed together amusement clearly in his eyes so I continued.

"_Maybe the matter of what I am is not so important right now." I saw the defensiveness of his eyes so I let it go for the moment._

_Something told me maybe I should not get him upset._

"_Well I guess I'll just be leaving now since you won't tell me who you are yet you've been watching ME okayyy fine."_

_I had turned away to began home but he was in front of me again._

"_You're usually not so grumpy."_

_He was smiling at me and it changed his face completely, maybe he WAS an angel._

_He was teasing me._

"_My name is Nicolae by the way, in case you were wondering, curious you know that sort of thing."_

_I rolled my eyes at him, wanting to leave his teasing behind but also too far curious to take another step._

"_How old are you?" _

_His smile froze on his lips and his eyes slightly crinkled._

"_Twenty"_

_I studied his face, it was indeed a twenty year's old face but I could not shake the feeling that he was hiding something._

"_I'm seventeen"_

_I watched what he would do once I admitted to him that I was still a teenager, even though I knew he was more than what I had ever seen before in my life I did not want to be rejected even as a friend._

"_Age is an altogether different concept to me than it is to you."_

_He shrugged so I knew it was not that big of a deal. _

"Why did you not try to kill her?"

Leah was staring intently at Nicolae when there was a break in the story.

Nicolae smiled grimly at Leah and her question.

"I simply was not thirsty, you heard her say my eyes were pitch black and you sit here and see my eyes are black as well, yet any human could walk by now and I would not be the least bit tempted to kill them."

He paused, looking thoughtfully at the ground.

"She may have been a little self conscious because she thought I was THREE years older than her, but she just did not know HOW much older I was and am. My age and practice allows me to restrain from feeding as much as my kind normally does, but most of the time I'm just not that thirsty. My appetite is small, maybe from me being mere substance most of the time…"

Leah nodded, maybe not understanding it fully but agreeing nonetheless.

We barely understood it.

"Besides you know, I can take away my own senses away as well, taking away the smell of her blood was not a taxing task when I needed to do so.

Her eyes were larger than before, but all she did was nod.

_After that day Nicolae and I were inseparable we met nearly every day in the secluded comfort of the woods and I learned new things from him and his life. _

_He did not reveal everything but enough that set my mind at ease, there was still a lot of mystery but I was satisfied for the time being._

_He showed me a little of how this talent he had worked._

_Only when I requested did he take away my hearing or sight, but to him vanishing at a moment notice was fair game._

_One day we were in a meadow of sorts when I asked him how he was able to disappear like that._

"_It's just who I am." _

_I was not pleased with his cryptic answer, but any answer he said made me happy._

_I reached to hug him, but when I leaned to wrap my arms around his neck he was no longer there and I almost fell face first into the ground._

_He laughed as he caught me before I crushed my face._

_When it became too cold to be out in the woods I asked if he would like to come inside my home._

"_I don't think that would be such a good idea."_

_He would always say when I suggested it._

"_Why not!?" _

_I would always demand each time I was rejected._

"_So when your parents ask how we met would you like to tell them I was some stranger in the woods and we happen to start talking?"_

_And that would always shut me up._

_But it did become too cold and his icy body temperature did not help matters at all._

_So he gave in but only came when no one was around._

_That is until he met Chloe._

_We were in my room, I did not worry if someone would catch him in here. _

_I had learned that he had keen hearing and you know the whole disappearing at whelm thing, so it shocked me when Chloe caught us._

_It was late at night and she and I both should have been asleep but Nicolae was over and we were talking._

_I finally demanded him to tell me exactly what he was hiding so maybe it was our loud voices that woke Chloe up._

_Whatever the reason she was standing in the door gripping her blanket with eyes wide, I was staring at her in surprise wondering what all she had heard._

_Nicolae was wide eyed and confused than he was no longer there, Chloe's sharp intake of breath instantly made me reach out for her. _

_She was terrified and trembling, I felt horrible._

"_Christine are you okay?"_

_She was asking of my well-being after what she had just seen._

_I could feel her little heart racing against my chest, I smoothed her hair trying to ease her. _

"_I'm okay Chloe I promise." _

_I did not know if Nicolae had really left or simply kept himself hidden._

"_That man scared me Christine."_

_She looked guilty for saying such a thing but I reassured her._

"_It's okay Chloe, but I promise he's not bad."_

"_Can I sleep with you tonight Christine please?"_

"_Of course"_

_She had tossed and turned for an hour before she was resting deeply in sleep next to me, but after that night she told me of the bad dreams she had about my older brother Jeremy and how a wolf protected him._

_Things between Nicolae and I had not worked out fully but he did feel bad for being the reason behind her unpleasant dreams._

_When I brought up the wolf that was in all of them he looked at me in shock._

"_She's dreaming about a werewolf?!"_

_His eyes had bugged out and it would have been funny if things were not so serious at the time._

"_I don't know! All she says is that there's a girl…a woman who's in all her dreams but we've never seen her in real life. She says there are people….people like you"_

_I looked at him remembering he never told me exactly what he really was, all he did was drop my gaze._

"_They try to get my brother, but they cannot succeed because the woman always intercedes. Sometimes she's the woman, sometimes she's the wolf but she never let anything happen to him…Do people really exist that are capable of that?"_

_If people like Nicolae existed what else was out there?_

"_Maybe…maybe there is ones out there like that. Werewolves…werewolves are such wretched creatures…"_

_He frowned than looked quickly at me as though he had said too much._

"_You say the…thing protects though…she's not afraid of her nor sense a threat so I don't know…I've heard of people taking the shapes of animals to protect…"_

_His voice trailed off and he looked at me in a way that sent shivers down my spine._

_This was the first time he had ever talked about these sorts of things._

_Since Chloe was not afraid of the wolf being in her dreams I decided to go find her one that maybe would bring comfort to her all the time. _

_All I knew was the wolf was grey so I picked out one that I thought she would like._

_I knew I had done well when I gave it to her and she was speechless, her eyes were glistening and she hugged me so tightly I could barely breathe._

_After that day she did not complain of bad dreams, but another problem pressed heavily against me._

_Nicolae was still so secretive even though I had told him all he asked of me, he was adamant against keeping what he was away from me and that caused a lot of tension between us._

_We argued, I threatened but he still would not tell me._

"Still in my wildest dreams I did not guess accurately what he truly was, even with the bizarre things Chloe told me about the girl-wolf. Vampires never came to mind, and I did not think of it still until I was already one."

I gripped Nicolae's hand because this was the hardest part.

"I…already know what happened Christine, you don't have to go on if it's too painful."

Leah must have sensed the story's end coming on and she tried to make it better for me.

"No, it's okay. I want to tell you and I think you've earned more than the right to know."

Nicolae's presence was the one thing that always kept me going when things were just too much.

_We talked but it was not the same, it hurt for things to be this way but it hurt even more to see him in pain._

_It was the same when the accident happened I was thinking about our last argument in the car._

_I would have stayed with Nicolae that day had we not argued and he insisted that I go with my family._

_It happened so fast, I do not know when people say the moment right before death they see their whole life flash before their eyes._

_All I saw was Nicolae, the regret of not being able to say goodbye and me not being able to tell him sorry for all the time we wasted._

_The other thing I could think of was my little sister, Chloe._

_My mind was split into two kinds of regret, I was selfish for thinking of myself._

_I had loved and although it was short at least I was able to do that and I graduated highschool, many people could not say the same thing._

_My beautiful baby sister had barely lived to see 4 short years of life yet she was the most insightful and pure person I had ever met, inside and out._

_It was raining that day, is that not so cliché?_

_I looked at my little sister, she was so scared, her eyes wide. _

_My mother's scream made her cry she closed her eyes as if she knew what would happen._

Nicolae's steady hand kept my shivering body at bay, my eyes scratched from tears that could not be shed.

My throat hurt from the burden that could not be eased.

"You do not know Leah how horrible that is. To see a child no more than a baby look expectantly towards death, and wait for it. That is truly the most horrifying thing I have seen and I've seen a lot..."

"Every selfish though about myself ceased and all I could think about was her. I would miss my life and everyone in it, but it seemed like the people I loved the most was all in the car with me except for Nicolae and Jeremy."

"My mother and father died first, almost instantly. I did see my mother look at Chloe and I before it happened, she was squeezing my father's hand. I knew she had already accepted the inevitable, he did too. These things could not have lasted more than minutes but it passed by almost slowly. After she had looked us over she turned to my father, they were the last thing the other saw."

I had to pause now, although many human memories were muddled from time and seen and heard through weak eyes and ears this one was so clear I knew I would never forget it.

"The car could not be controlled and we were spinning recklessly in no time. My only thought was somehow saving Chloe. The opportunity came and I took it, it cost me but no price was too high for her. But it also hurt her more than I would have liked."

I grimaced remembering how at the last moment I was able to push Chloe out the slowing car.

_She was hysterically crying at this point, the pain was so much it still surprised me how I could think clearly._

_I could not bare to glance up front at my now dead parents and I did not let Chloe see that either._

"_Chloe love when I say so you have to listen and do exactly as I say okay honey? Sister is going to find a way to get you out of this damn car no matter what."_

_Maybe my determination was what kept me going._

"_No! I can't leave you!"_

"_Yes you can and you will, you really don't have a choice."_

_And she did try to fight me, she was willing to die with me but I was not willing to let that happen. _

_Her weak attempts were no match for me so when the time came I let my baby sister go. _

_For the first time I was happy our car ended in the woods although we crashed into many trees, at least when I let her go she would not be in the road I only prayed they would find her, take her to Jeremy and he would put her back together again._

"She had been scraped up pretty bad but at least she survived"

"Our car had tumbled over and over once Chloe was out, I could not imagine how I stayed alive so long but I did. My body was ready to let go though, but that's when I saw him…"

_One minute I was alone ready to finally die, happy that I had rescued my sister the next Nicolae's distressed face was in my whole view. _

_I heard shredding metal and I was no longer in the car._

"_It's Okay, just make sure Chloe is fine please? I just want to sleep I'm so tired."_

"_Hang on love please, please I'm sorry for everything, please don't leave me."_

_I would have been happy to die there in his arms knowing I saw his face one last time but that more selfish part of me couldn't let go._

"_Help me than please!"_

_My voice was a little stronger, I tried to sit up but I felt something inside me collapse which forced me to not move, he cringed._

"_I can't love you don't know what you're asking."_

_I could see the battle going on inside of him through my blurry vision, I knew all I had to do was push a little harder and I would get what I wanted._

"_You just rather see me die? Maybe that's why you insisted I went today. Maybe you knew what would happen…That's fine just leave me to die than."_

_Of course I felt horrible but I knew it was the only thing that would help._

_I was lying on the ground and I thought he would let me die because he looked at me resigned and finally all I could see was darkness, I was sure I was no longer apart of this world._

"What woke me was the burning, you know my kind so I'm sure you know the burn of the venom, I took even that without protest. When I saw I was with him and he reassured me Chloe was alive with Jeremy I was fine."

Leah was the kind of still I only that our kind capable of doing.

"The extent of damage to my body was so severe the paramedics assumed I was already dead. My heart was barely a whisper, at least that's what Nicolae told me I can't remember anything after that. Jeremy wanting to stay so detached from the whole funeral process he did not look closely at all. I wasn't in the casket."

It still confused me how Nicolae was able to do it.

Each time I asked he said he had friends in high places.

"I don't ask too often because honestly I do not want to know, that's one thing I don't push. I have a gravesite and I visit my parents often, we're all together but I know I'm not really there. Jeremy and Chloe visit as well, but I keep it up because he rarely goes."

I looked hard at Leah who was looking expectedly at me, all I could do was shake my head.

"My brother…there is many things he has not told you, he is guilty and it eats him. He knows much I would not put that pass him, but it is also not my place to tell you."

Leah sighed, than lifted her head at the same time Nicolae and I did.

Maybe she heard the car or maybe it was the connection she had but she knew they were on their way and would be home soon.

I was so grateful of the beautiful woman.

"How long will you guys be around?"

"I'm not sure…I miss my brother and sister so much. It's hard not to see and talk to them."

She nodded her head sadly, the raven feathers of her hair brushing against her cheek, she was truly a beautiful person.

"I'm so happy you came Leah more than you know."

"I'm happy I met you, please do not leave without seeing me first."

We were all standing at this point, she hesitantly hugged Nicolae than reached out to me.

The scorching heat of her skin did not bother me, what bothered me was the ache I felt when we had to let go.

The ache I felt every day from losing my family.

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**a/n: Sorry again for taking so long!!!! In honor of you guys not killing me and because I feel bad for taking so long I decided to post a short preview of the next chapter.**

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SECRETS

His blazing eyes were one I had never seen before.

I never knew a storm could also hold fire.

I knew it was too late, was this not the moment I had been regretting since first getting here?

When I decided to keep the secret from him was this not what I knew would inevitably happen?

So why when the time finally came did it hurt so much?

Why did it feel as if a part of me was stretching and going beyond my being?

"Jeremy! Wait! You have to understand! Please let me explain!"

His eyes stopped me from following him; he had Chloe tucked securely into his arms.

She kicked with protest but he did not let go.

Was I so monstrous to him? Was this how it would end?

Him finally seeing me as who I truly was? Not just Leah the woman but Leah the wolf?

I repulsed him that much?

Of course I did, his silent retreating figure spoke volumes.

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**a/n: Whoa What do you think??? Poor Christine…Please ****review**** I'll try to post as soon as possible. Any questions? Don't hesitate to ask! Love, Bria**

**p.s. The preview "Secrets" was not a dream of Leah's that IS going to happen**


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